A One-Sided View

I Wish I Could Go Far, Far Away

2005-06-16T22:35:00.000-05:00

I have this incredible urge to move somewhere far far away, I only wish I could do it soon. Im sick of my life here, people, work, money, everything. I want to just go somewhere and give myself a fresh start. If only i could win the lottery... people say money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you a nice car and u call pull right up to it. Im just not happy right now. I dont know what it is.. well thats a lie, I do know. If I had the money in the bank, I would love to go somehwere new, someplace like Chicago, or NYC, or god knows where, just away from here. Ive been in this mood for about a week now. As stated in my previous post, I think my time here is about at an end. Everyone has left or is leaving, I dont want to leave for that reason, but I just want to get away. Theres nothing left here for me... I dont think I will be able to get back to school again this fall... its not busy enough at work for me to be able to get done what I need to before I get there... however, today was a lot busier than it has been... but god... it still isnt enough... I want to go somewhere, where I dont know anyone... make a brand new set of friends and live my life the way I want to without the history that i have keeping me from my happiness here. And yes, I do realize I have made descions, some good, some stupid as fuck, that have brought me to where I am today... however, you cant regret anything, because as Ive said before, all that does is put u in a downward spiral of shit and it doesnt help anything. I want to make a new future, move on, start somewhere new and get things done the way I want them to be. I feel like Im not growing a person in the place I am right now. I feel like im stuck and I cant do anything about it. I know that moving somewhere new wont cure all of that, but it would help witht he growing as person. I dont think there is anything more exciting and scary at the same time than moving somewhere where I dont know anyone and have to do everything for myself. I think that would make me grow immaculate amounts in a small amount of time. I want out of here. Im not happy where I am. Yes, there is a lot of shit other than the place I live that dont make me happy... as I said before, its people, work, and so and so and so on... I dont know... Ive been in this wierd place for the past few days and I wish I could fix it, but I dont know what to do or how to fix it... grr! Ok I think Im done, enough for now...
Thanks for letting me vent to whoever is reading this

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

My Thoughts... Here You Go

2005-06-12T00:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever stopped for a second in your daily life and realize how much everything around has changed? How everyone seems so different from just a few short years ago. I look at my close friends, some I have lost contact with over time, some I still speak to somewhere between weekly and daily. But we are all so different. Its hard for me to think that I am different as well. I know I am, I feel as though I have grown as person, I am stronger, I am able to stand up for my beliefs a little more now, and I’m not so much of a push over. But now, I feel like everyone has moved on from this place... Jens leaving for Austin in August, Cathleen left for St Louis long ago, Elizabeth is getting married in December to a wonderful boy... and AJ is leaving to Rochester in August. And what am I doing? I love all my friends, I am extremely happy that they have made choices in their lives and they are all getting closer to where they want to be... but what am I doing? I wait tables, trying to get back into school... I know that eventually I will. I was hoping to be able to come back in the fall, but unless business picks up at work, I wont be able to pay off the money I owe enough so I can pay off what I owe and have my financial aid pay off the rest... and at the same time, get my current situations caught up and manageable. I know it will pick up, plus I NEED to get better at saving money and not spending so much on stuff that isn’t as important as rent and car payments. I want to be better at this....

Back to the friends moving on.... the more I think about it, the more I think that my time here is done with. Its not just because all my friends are leaving and I'm "alone" because I know that I am not... but sometimes, I feel like its my time to move on as well. But where would I go? What in the world would I do? Id prefer to finish up school and go to grad school somewhere... but honestly, I don’t know when that will be happening right now. As stated above, I need to get money with school straight first.... How long could that take? My hope would be by August, so I can continue on with my life and not spend all my time working and do something interesting with my time.
I love all my friends dearly, and I know I will miss some more than others. With Jen.... I love you like you were my sister, (I know that sounds so cliché) but you have done so much for me as my friend, and I thank you for that. You’ve let me make my mistakes but you never hold them against me... for that I love you. I know you are going to Austin because its better for you and what you want to do, and I am extremely happy for you, and I am glad that you’re taking the necessary steps in your life to achieve your goals...
And my dearest AJ... you know what you mean to me. I love you very much, I'll miss you terribly, my life without you here will change drastically... I know I have been without you before, but you wont be physically near anymore... that has always been some sort of comfort to me... even if we weren’t speaking I knew you were a short car ride away and if I needed you, I could just get in my car and see you. But now you’ll be in Rochester... not just a short car ride away anymore. I am so proud of you for achieving your dreams and taking the necessary steps to get there... You have to go, I know this, but that wont make me miss you any less. You will achieve so much, and for this, I am happy to know you and be able to call you my friend... but it will be different now, and I’m not sure if I am honestly ready to deal with this difference. But as stated before I know this is something you have to do, and I know this is the right thing for you to do... and there is no way in hell that I would even attempt to keep you here... I am just saying my feelings, and if you happen to read this I just want you to know them. You’re an absolutely wonderful person, I am happy to know you and I will miss you greatly. I know I have some time before you leave to make this adjustment as well... so maybe when you actually leave I wont have such drastic feelings... or I can hide them better... who knows....

I think that is enough for now... love you all

~Auf Wierderschrieben!

My Life as an Alcoholic... and Other Tales

2005-06-09T20:49:00.000-05:00

Well, maybe I’m not what you would consider a true alcoholic, however, since my 21st birthday almost a month ago, I have gone very few days without a drink. I think I can count them on one hand. No, by no means am I am alchie, but I am thoroughly enjoying being 21 and being able to drink... honestly, I was never much into drinking before, mostly because I didn’t see a point in fake IDs... yes I had my fair share of friends buy me stuff occasionally, but nothing over the top. But since I have turned 21, I am now well known to the liquor store and have had a decent number of good times with friends over drinks....

My 21st birthday was a blast... A bunch of friends and I went to Dicks Last Resort in the West End to eat dinner, and get some drinks down before we went to see mostly nakey men at La Bare... The whole night was fabulous! It was great fun. I never thought that I would have as much fun as I did at La Bare, however, I must say that it was a total blast. I think the official drink count came to 27 between 6pm and about 1:45 am.... yes that’s a lot, and yes, I did puke up a good number of them when I got home.... but hey it was my 21st birthday... what the hell else was I supposed to do.
The next day AJ took me to dinner for my birthday at Carrabas... great food. I had never been there before. Then he gave me my birthday surprise, and I think I shall spare you all the details... you’d prefer it that way... trust me ;) Then the following day AJ took me on my first trip to the liquor store, where he bought me $50 worth of stuff and we later went to wal mart for some mixers and had a good time at home later that evening.

Other than that, I am really enjoying my life right now... of course there’s still some issues with myself that I need to get resolved... but most of it is going fairly well. Andy’s movie premiered last night and of course Jen and I went to support him, even though it was the 2nd time se saw it, and the 100th for me. But it was good. He was very pleased and I was very happy and proud of him. He put a lot of work into that movie and he deserved the praise he received.
Sunday night Carly and I went to the Bright Eyes concert... however, we had a work meeting at 8:30, the concert started at 8. We were planning on leaving sometime during the meeting, because we HAD to show up, or else wed risk getting fired, and we really didn’t know much about the opening band. Well we were supposed to take a new menu test at work during the meeting, but because it took too long and we started 45 minutes late, we never took the test. So we waited thru 95% percent of the meeting and then got the hell out of there. If we knew we weren’t going to be taking the test, we would have just came, signed in and left, but alas, we couldn’t... we had to suffer through the pain of listening to all our managers go on and on about shit they bitch at us everyday for... just more drawn out. Really shitty, if you as my opinion. One of the kitchen managers, John, was talking about how we shouldn’t curse in the kitchen or back area because customers can hear us and complain.... yes, I do understand this... however, he is the one who does most of the yelling and he cusses at us? If you know me well, you know I hate hypocrites... and that my friends, is one of the many in the world. He’s such an ass.... grr.... anyways....

Some stuff is going on that I want to know more about, but I think I just have to be patient and wait for it to come to me, and when the time is right it will, and I believe that everything (well almost everything) will fall into place. I don’t mean that to sound too fairy tale or anything... but it makes sense to me. However, I am curious, but that curiosity can wait :o) I am in love with someone, but I don’t know if they know the extent to which it is... and I’m not sure of their feelings... but no matter what... as of this moment, I am happy with where things are and I don’t want them to change, except maybe to progress from where they are now. Just so you know, just so I know, just so we know... I am happy and I am loving what we are right now, I don’t need anything more to tell me that.

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

One Hell of a Week

2005-04-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

So I guess lets start with Monday...
James had asked me to pick up Monday morning because they apparently it was going to be busy. I came in at 11:30 and was cut by 12:30. Angela had to work a pm and I was still debating if I wanted to pick up at night or not so I just hung around with her... I was her shopping buddy and then we went to see Hitch. By the time that was over it way about 4ish so she did a little more shopping and then I decided to head home. I just wasn’t in the mood to work. So I sat in shitty traffic the whole was home because dumb me left during rush hour.... grrr. And the whole was home I was thinking about my feelings towards someone and how frustrated I am with myself and our "relationship" because 1. I didn’t know what it was and 2. I couldn't keep lying to myself about my feelings. I called him on Sunday night and said I need to talk to you, its very important. So he called me later on Monday night and I went to Arlington and we talked. I was having issues, like usual, with speaking when it comes to my feelings. I eventually said it... I'm still in love with you and I can’t lie to myself anymore. There it’s out in the open now. I also told him how frustrated I was because I didn’t know what were... if we were just fuck buddies or more than that. So in a short version... were dating. Which means that we can both see other people, I don’t know if I could deal with him seeing another girl. I think Id get hurt. We'll see.... I was like why can’t we just be normal?? He said, well I think this is the most normal we have ever been. I guess he’s right... but its still so frustrating when you know you love someone and can't have them is your.... however, I wouldn’t think of that as needy, I do love him.... ok done with that....

On to Tuesday....
I worked a pm since I didn’t make any money on the supposed "busy" day, so I went and picked up. I was gonna meet AJ and Ryan at Saltgrass, so I told Phatima that I would take her home since it’s basically on the way. No big deal. We stopped at the chevron we always stop at on the way to her house. I get in the left hand lane which is straight or left, because right after the light you have to take this little road to get to 360 (where she lives). Well the light turns green and this guy in the lane next to me turns left in front of me from the fucking center lane which is straight only! I hit his rear driver’s side door and fucked up the front right side of my car. He immediately drove off so we followed him, got the license plate info because we thought he was driving off. He ended up pulling into a parking lot and we followed. He got out of his car and said "What the fuck happened?!?" I was like excuse me; you tell me what the fuck happened. He claimed that my lane was left only and his was straight or left.... I argued with him knowing it was his fault and I was right because I take that way every time I take Phatima home from work. He gave up. I asked him for his insurance stuff and he didn’t have any because he said it was "his moms car" aka code for I don’t have any. I got a phone number from him and gave him mine... I think his is fake, because I’ve never gotten anyone to pick up when I call him and he still has yet to call me. Stupid... I didn’t give him my info because he didn’t have any, and he could have filed a claim on me and I couldn’t do anything about my problem! Grr again! We left, and I called Nancy and told her about it. She wasn’t mad or anything, she wouldn’t have any reason to because it’s not my fault.... but still its annoying. I went on to take Phatima home and went to Saltgrass with AJ and then came home... that’s that for Tuesday...

On to Wednesday....
My mom had called me on Tuesday night because her father is in the hospital in Oklahoma City and she needed a way to get up there since my aunt had already left. I talked to my brother and he said he would drive from Denton if I got up there. I didn’t really want to drive right after being in an accident. So we went up there. It was really awkward because I really didn’t know my grandfather. I haven’t seen him since my mom had a heart attack when I was in Junior High. So I felt really out of place. Jeff and I spent most of our time in the waiting room. We left after a little while because my mom had told me that she didn’t want to stay too long so she didn’t freak out and start crying uncontrollably. We drove home, my brother was his usual selfish self... and it was annoying to drive with him because he kept bitching about everything. We finally got home about 9ish and I took my car to Nancy's and they looked at the damage from the accident. Nancy doesn’t think its worth enough to even cover the deductible so we might not even make a claim unless that guy calls anytime soon.... its not bad, its just a pretty issue and the passenger door makes a terrible sound when you open it....

Thursday....
I was sleeping great until I got a phone call from my Aunt about 1pm saying that my grandfather had taken turn for the worst and we needed to get to OKC ASAP. I had no money, mom had no money... we ended up borrowing some money from Donna for gas to get us there and back. It took us forever to leave because we had to wait till we knew we had money and yeah... we didn’t end up leaving till almost 3:30 or 4. We were about 15 miles outside of OKC when my Aunt called again at 6:30 saying that he had passed away at 5:10. My mom didn’t want to go in the first place, so she wanted to just turn around and head back. But she said that we needed to come... so we did. It took us forever to find the hospital because the directions she gave us were totally fucked up... so we went back the way we had come the previous day and got horribly lost because we missed the exit and then took a road that went parallel to the road we were looking for... a terrible mess. We finally got there my aunt was pissed at us because we took so long. I was then mad at her. Oh well. We didn’t stay that long because there wasn’t much we could do... plus the guy from the funeral home was waiting to take him there. So on the way back we stopped in Norman went to Joes Crab Shack and then met my friend Leah at Starbucks, which was a highlight of the trip. Then we went straight back. It was totally dark because we left Starbucks about 10pm... So we got home about 1 am and I came home and went straight to sleep...

Now for Friday...
I didn’t do anything at all until AJ and I went to see King Fu Hustle.... which is very funny! I loved it, and plus, it was actually a good movie. We came back to my apt and Jen and had invited a bunch of people over. So there went my hopes for having any fun... he left about 2ish, I think, and then I went to bed.... good day

Saturday....
I traded Rich for his double because I needed the money like crazy bad. I know Saturdays suck, so I wasn’t expecting much. But I really didn’t want to work almost 12 hours! I got there at 11:30am and was walking out the back door at 11pm. People who got there at 3 were finishing and leaving before me. I totally bitched out Brandie, the host, in front of some tables and I really didn’t care. It was bullshit that I was still there just getting tables when there are people who have been there 1/2 the time I have that are cleaning their sections so they can get out of there. I made decent money, not what I would have asked for, but oh well...

Sunday...
After working almost 12 hours I woke up and opened at 9:30am. It wasn’t a bad day... after work I went to AJs grandparents’ house and his grandfather and Donna changed my oil because I had to drive to OKC one more time for the funeral today. Plus it needed it anyways. It took us awhile but when it was all done, we had dinner and AJ, his grandmother, Donna and I talked for a bit and then he had to leave to go tutor. So then I headed back to Plano because I had to get up early this morning for a long drive.

Today...
I woke up a little bit late but I just took quick shower to make up for it. I went to my moms picked up her, tom, and Jeff and we made out way to okc. I had to speed most of the way because we got a late start because we had wait for Jeff. We got the funeral home after driving the wrong way down a street because stupid map quest gave us the wrong directions. Once again... total weirdness. I am kind of angry because I didn’t know him at all. People kept talking about the things he had done. Apparently he worked for the USAF at Tinker Air Force Base as an engineer and he even had a patent for a safety compartment on the B52 bombers. Did I know this.... no. He sounded like he was a really great person but I had no idea who he was and he had no idea what I did. His 2nd wife, my step grandmother, is mostly to blame for this... and that makes me so angry. She’s done a lot of wrong things to my mom too, which also bothers me. His step grandkids knew him better than I did. Grrr! Well so we left there and made our way back one last time. My brother kept bitching about how he was hungry but he had no money. Stop bitching... just ask if someone would buy you dinner and let that be it. I don’t respond well to bitchiness or whining. So we got back... in one piece... barely. And now I’m here and I don’t want to get in my car if at all possible tomorrow, but I will because I have to pick up at work because I still need money for rent.

Alrighty kids... Hope all is well in your part of the world. Love to all!

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

The Enchanted Forest

2005-04-16T22:58:00.000-05:00

Ok So Wednesday night I had a table, it was one of the kid's birthdays... not abnormal
They had brought the gifts as well... not abnormal
One of the presents has some glitter in it and the child thought it would be funny (Im guessing) to pout the bag with the glitter in it all over the floor.... ABNORMAL!
WTF? The parents didn't seem to care either... it was all over the chair, the girls clothes (dont care about that) and it covered the floor around that table. And because I had to walk thru it, it got all over (and it still all over) my shoes. Because it was all over the floor, anyone else that walked by or around that table got it on their shoes, thus tracking it all over the restaurant.
I tried to sweep up what I could, but those of you who have played with glitter before know that is thin and impossible to get off the floor. All it accomplished was getting some of it in the broom and not much off the floor... thus ruining the broom. So when I was ready to leave I talked to Lee and said...
"A troll committed suicide by my table and his insides are every where and I cant get them off the floor."
He told me to just leave it alone and in the morning when they clean the floors it should come up. However... it didnt... its still there and expanding. So now, weve decided that its part of the floor and the rainforest is now an enchanted forest because its all sparkly!

Side note: Anyone who has kids or ever wants them... please dont let them throw shit all over the floor... someone has to clean it up. Glitter has by far been the worst, but anything from cheerios to wrapping paper... is it really that hard to keep on the table. Yes, and I do realize that children make a mess... but it cant be that hard to help keep the place clean. We have to clean that shit up.

New Subject

AJ and I went to see Spike and Mikes Sick and Twisted Animation Festival last night. It was pretty good, but honestly, I thought the stuff they had last year was funnier. Oh well, we still had a good time at least :o)

I had to get up and go to work this morning at 9:30.... The only good part about getting there so early is that I don't have to work Saturday nights. Yes people I know that I never work doubles on Saturdays, but god. Brandon was being such an ass about it today. "It must be nice to always have Saturday nights off.... Never having to work a double on Saturday," he said. "Sorry," I replied not really caring. "Well that will change soon if I have anything to do with it." WTF dude, I mean seriously. Yes I do realize that I never have to work doubles or mids on Saturdays. Maybe if you werent such an ass about it every week I might consider picking up for you one Saturday night. The only reason I never work them is because Leo makes the schedule and he loves me. Plus he knows that I despise them. So he just never schedules me. Plus, I was one a select few servers that was nice to him when he first came here.... so leave me the fuck alone. Grrr.... ok thats out

So anyways, well thats about it. Hope everything is well in your part of the world. Love to all!

~Auf Wiederschrieben

A Salute to Fabulous Childhood Toys!

2005-04-11T19:28:00.000-05:00

This was written by Diana, a friend of mine from high school... I thought it kicked ass so I posted it here, I also added a link to her blog on the side bar!

This is a salute to the awesome things you had growing up if you were born sometime during or between the years of 1982 and 1987 (generation blocks are thought to be six years long; basically, if you're anywhere in or between your senior year of high school and your first year out of college right now, this applies to you).

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Fun-Dip. Hey Dude. Cabbage Patch dolls. Pogs. Power Rangers. Doug. Punky Brewster. Ooze. Recess. Pixie sticks. Pinky and the Brain. Airheads. Rainbow Brite. Double Dutch jump rope game and associated songs. Kool Aid. Magic markers. Slip'N'Slides. Saved by the Bell. Batman movies. SNICK. Are You Afraid of the Dark? McDonalds PlayPlaces. Scrunchies. Lisa Frank. Keenan and Kel. Lincoln Logs. Ring pops. My Little Pony. Sega. Mighty Ducks. Spiragraph. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Animaniacs. Magnadoodle. Spiderman. Street hockey. GI Joe. LA Lights. Etch-A-Sketch. Ghostbusters. Bobby's World. Candyland. Skip It. Mickey Mouse Club. TGIF Lineup (Boy Meets World, Family Matters, Full House, Step By Step). Water guns. Gak. N64. Goosebumps. Berenstein Bears. Rugrats. Care Bears. Paintball guns. Handy Snacks. Transformers. The era of Disney movies beginning with the Little Mermaid and ending with the Lion King. Legos. Goldeneye 64. Ducktails. The Tick. Fruit rollups. Sesame Street. Ribbon dancer. Mario Bros. Babysitters' Club. Fruit by the Foot. K'Nex. Air Nike. Reading Rainbow. The best of Fisher Price. Pound Puppies. Easy-Bake Oven. Operation. Monopoly. Silly putty. Koosh balls. Rubix cube. Where's Waldo? Chef Boyardee. Pop-tarts. Nerf balls. X-Men. Eggo waffles. Fresh Prince. Trampolines. Salute Your Shorts. Homeward Bound. Goldfish crackers.

Okay, look at that, and then try to tell me that we didn't have the best stuff of any generation thus far. Ninja Turtles - a CLASSIC! Children born after us watch the newer, sucky versions and revere those of us who were old enough to watch the original (I used to get up early on Saturday mornings for that purpose alone) and still wear Ninja Turtles paraphernalia. A theory is being constructed that states what I have said - that we as kids had the best stuff growing up, in comparison to every other generation before or after us - and attempts to prove it. If you think I forgot anything, send me a message on AIM, and I'll see if it fits the requirements to make the list. The requirements are as such: 1) It must be something relative to 'pop culture' and/or daily life: music, movies, foods, TV shows, toys, clothes, etc. 2) It must either have originated during our childhoods or had a significantly high period of popularity during our childhoods. 3) It must be awesome. For the record, Pokemon is NOT on the list and DOES NOT belong on the list because a) it's not awesome and b) most of us were at least 4 years too old for it when it came out. My evidence of this is that I used to babysit a kid who was huge into Pokemon, even though he seemed a bit old for it, and he was 5 years younger than me.

Anyway, back to the point. Our shit was cooler. Why did we have the best of everything? There are several possible explanations for this. First, the majority of the people designing these things for us and then marketing them were in their 30s or 40s. Thus, they were of proper age (~20) to smoke pot and do psychedelic drugs during the 60s and 70s and were mostly crazy and hypercreative after those experiences. That's one theory; another is that the 80s, with its cocaine outbreak and other things, gave birth to a social revolution that suggested that being slightly crazy and offbeat and extremely interesting was a good thing, not to mention stylish. A third theory is that we had just begun to learn more about the psychological dealings of children and knew how to push those buttons, and when this was combined with the steady rise of technology, revolutionary classics were born. A fourth theory (that is slightly complimentary to the third) is that the advertising industry made a shift in the 80s to serving the newly funded younger part of society, so the majority of profits came from the desires of kids and teens and thus the majority of corporate energy was focused on us.

So why do today's toys and things suck (well, at least in comparison to our stuff)? Well, we've become obsessed with technology and progression. When we didn't have that much technology to work with, we couldn't have too much of it. Now that it's everywhere, children's games and things are centered around using it in every way possible. Cartoons have whacked up character names in episodes that are too technical to be enjoyed. Look at the Ninja Turtles: they had simple weapons, classic names (Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, Leonardo), and they hung out with a sewer rat named Splinter all the time. You know, because turtles and sewer rats are legendary for their long-lasting partnerships. Makes sense. The qualitis of TMNT that drove it to amazing success? Vague, classic, action-packed, curious, talking animals, simple enough so that the cartoon doesn't get lost in the technical aspects of things, as many cartoons do now. They weren't trying to create a Star Trek for kids; there were no new and strange species names to memorize, but it still played to our imaginations by testing the boundaries of belief by creating talking turtles.

Go forth and play.

Frustrated Much?

2005-04-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

So fuck....

Yeah, that about covers my current situation right now. I don’t know what to do, I have all these conflicting feelings inside myself... my mind is telling me one thing, my heart is saying another... and my sexual needs are telling me something that I am desperately trying not to listen to.... I’ve had more ups and downs in the past 2 weeks, than I should ever have in a relationship with someone... One minute he’s telling me one thing and then acting a complete polar opposite the next time we see each other. I appreciate honesty, don’t get me wrong.. but if you’re going to say something, please stick by your words and follow then through with corresponding actions. I enjoy Andy’s company but I don’t enjoy the emotional roller coaster that I have been through. I am so angry with myself for developing feelings for someone so quickly just to have then shot down and then brought back to life a few days later. How can I change this? There are a few options, but I don’t know which one I would prefer at the moment. I just had a long conversation with AJ about this, he said some things to me that I haven’t realized yet. There’s no hope unless something changes quickly; mainly because I don’t want (or need) to put myself thru this. I went thru this shit in High School and thought that I was past this sort of thing... but here it is, in front of me once more and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore... I don’t want to. I like you damn it.... I wanted to kiss you so badly before I left tonight... but I didn’t. I am giving you what you wanted... I hope you’ve realized what this involves. Why don’t you know what you want... what’s wrong with you? Why did you seem like you were sad when I didn’t know if I felt like coming over tonight? How can I change this... once again there are only a few options...
#1 leave you alone, let you realize what you want from me
#2 continue on the path I am and risk getting hurt
#3 leave you alone for good
or #4 You admit that you want to be with me and we basically start over, even though that’s pretty much impossible because in the state of mind I am right now, you’re going to have to do a lot of make up work to cover your mistakes

One of the things AJ said to me earlier was that I need to think of why I like Andy and why I want to be with him... here are my reasons
#1 Interesting person
#2 Intelligent conversations (most of the time)
#3 He’s talented and doing what he wants to do, and is going to make something of himself
#4 I feel comfortable around him

I said this to him and basically his response was that there are many people out there who are interesting and doing things with their lives that will be more willing to include you in their lives. Good point.

I just want to know what he wants, when I know that then we can work things out and see what happens. Just fuck... I don’t know anymore... and the main problem I see is that I don’t know what I want anymore. This is a bad thing. Am I willing to try even though I don’t know if his heart is fully in it, or should I give up know and count my losses and move on. I don’t know. This would be much easier if I truly knew where he stood, but of course I don’t.
I felt like such a bitch tonight when I was leaving. Here's the mind/heart conflict again... my brain is telling me don’t be stupid don’t kiss him good bye but my heart is like come on you know you want to. FUCKER! I hate having uncertainty in my life, especially a type that I can control, but cant. I don’t deal with it as everyone can see in my past few posts. Total GRRR! Bah!

I have to ask myself is this really worth my time... does he miss me... me as in my presence or just the presence of someone around to spend time with and doesn’t get annoyed by his actions. I don’t know this. However, I do know that I need to find this out quickly or I will die because of insanity. Another problem is that I don’t know where we stand so I don’t know what I can do... I don’t mean this in a controlling sort of way, which might be what some of you are thinking... I mean I don’t know if I can see other people... or fuck other people if you will (this is where my previous statement of my sexual needs comes into play).

I have given Andy everything I can, now its his turn to make some choices... but as much as I hate to say it, if he doesn’t make any decisions soon I am going to have to make one and I don’t know if either one of us will like what that’s going to be.

Am I going to get anything out of this relationship... is he going to teach me anything about life that I don’t already know... what will I learn from him... what will he learn from me... and once again... am I worth this... is this what you call settling... once again... the uncertainty is creeping up on me and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I have loved deeply before, given myself to someone completely... that is not what I am scared of... I am scared of not having someone’s heart fully be involved and wondering if I am doing this for the right reasons....

Until next time...

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

Name Game and Life Ramblings

2005-04-07T02:09:00.000-05:00

I’m bored I guess I'll start with something interesting

SPELL UR NAME WITH THESE WORDS AND SEE WHAT YOU MEAN...

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgmental.
I - You are always smiling and making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W -You like your privacy.
X - You never let people tell you what to do.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone

So here’s me

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
I - You are always smiling and making others smile.
E - You are a very exciting person.

M - Success comes easily to you.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
E - You are a very exciting person.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.

Now let’s analyze this....
A: Yes I am always quiet when something is on my mind; people usually think something wrong when this happens
N: Like to work... nah... but breaks = good!
N: same as above
I: Yes, I love to make people smile... I used to smile all the time, but that’s gone away with time... kinda sad :(
E: Id Like to think I'm an exciting person... anyone think so?
M: Nope, I always have to work for it when it comes to school and stuff, but I’m 5-0 on job interviews... I always get the job, so I guess in those terms, yes
A: already done
R: I wouldn’t consider myself a social butterfly, I like to be around people but I prefer to listen and keep to myself when I am around a bunch of people
G: I think I am great at viewing people
A: been there
R: same as before
E: done this before
T: this sounds terrible, but it doesn’t always have to be a prissy or bitchy "I’m pissed at the world" attitude, but yes I have one

So that was interesting... and yes, I know my "real" name doesn’t have an I in it, but "my" name does so hush!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Not much has happened in the past few days, just work and sleep... I haven’t seen Andy since Monday and poor guy, he got sick on Sunday night, and I had no idea because I didn’t sleep on Saturday so when I came over after work, less than half way into an episode of LOST I was out for about 16 hours... but on Friday morning I was sick and throwing up and he had no idea because he was sleeping the whole time, so I guess we're even there...
I didn’t work on Saturday morning because I slept thru the alarm clock. I still didn’t feel great, but I was going to, and my intentions were to call James, apologize profusely, tell him I was sick and I’m just now able to leave. But he assumed that I was calling in sick and got all kinds of pissed at me because I apparently called him 30 seconds in advance... which is half true, it was 9:28, but still not 2 hours in advance which we are supposed to have... oh well. So I was like fuck it, he thinks I’m calling in sick, if I show up Ill be in a shitty section anyway so screw it, back to bed. Then Andy and I spent the day together, watched LOST (the best TV show EVER!) went to dinner all that fun stuff.

On Tuesday the Dallas Wind Symphony is performing Masalanka's (he totally kicks ass) Clarinet Concerto... and as everyone knows, I still have bit of a classical music nerd in me, so I’m going! I don’t know if Andy is coming, he said it depends on work and all that stuff, but Austin and I are definitely going... so I’m uber excited! I can’t wait. Austin wants to go out before and get dinner but it depends on my money situation at that point in time... so yeah...

Also, I’ve decided that I am going to have the most awesomest 21st birthday party EVER! MAY 18! It’s a Wednesday night everyone... Were probably going to go to dinner somewhere in downtown Dallas, and then were going to La Bare... It’s going to be totally awesome... I’m so excited, I can’t wait... I still have over a month, I know, but I’ve already been telling my friends about it so they can get off work and such. I’m going to be so drunk and it’s going to be LEGAL! I’m so excited...

Well so much for not knowing if I was going to do a real post or not... hehe
Hope all is well in your part of the world... until next time... much love to all!

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

Beziehung und Bestürzung

2005-04-05T20:07:00.000-05:00

Just because I have feelings for you does not mean that we have to be in a serious "whens the wedding" relationship... all I want is the chance to learn about you and explore where things could go. Dont freak out on me. If it doesnt last forever, thats fine, forever is too long of a time to think about right now. Were both 20, we have all of our lives to worry about forever. Lets just be happy. We both know we enjoy eachother's company and doing other things so lets let it be what it is and stop analyzing every single detail. lets go out, have fun together and do what we have been doing, take things as they come and look at them for what they are but dont tear everything to pieces in your head until you become confused again. Im happy spending time with you and sleeping next to you. Let it be what it is, life has a way of working things out, just dont freak out on a weekly basis and things will be okay.

~Auf Wiederschrieben

Ich hasse meine Gefühle

2005-03-27T16:31:00.000-06:00

I hate that you don’t see me as I wish
I hate that you make me so confused
I hate that when I’m with you I feel happy
I hate that you expect things to be a certain way when they can only be one way
I hate that you think certain things aren’t worth anything unless the begin with sparks
I hate that I want to spend with you
I hate that I made you uncomfortable
I hate that I would rather you spend time with me than do your other commitments
I hate myself for my feelings
I hate being able to be totally and completely honest with you
I hate that you don’t want me to go but don’t want me to stay
I hate that when I am with you I am able to feel and I don’t know if you are
I hate uncertainty
I hate not knowing if I can make you happy
I hate that you think I shouldn’t want you because of your flaws
I hate that you don’t believe you deserve to give yourself to something unless it has a glimmer of perfection
I hate that when I see you I can’t stop touching you
I hate that I can’t hide my emotions
I hate that you aren’t capable of feeling
I hate that you won’t open your eyes and see things as they are, but you only see them as you want them to be

I don’t really hate you; these are more like frustrations because I know I am capable of caring about you; it kills me that you aren’t sure if you feel the same. I know that I am not your "perfect" person but I know that you should be able to see past someone's flaws. I know we shouldn’t have done some of the things we have done... but it has happened... and part of maturity is knowing how to move forward and fix things if you must. I don’t know why I am like this... I don’t know if I am terrible person for saying these things. I don’t know why, but this is me, and this is who I am. In my eyes when you like someone you should be willing to tweak your schedule a little bit and let them in.... If you aren’t able to let other people in, you’re never going to be able to be fully happy. You can’t write about things that you have no experience with. If you have never loved someone fully and given them every ounce of yourself, hoping that they don’t crush you, but knowing there is a chance that they will; then you’ve never experienced true bliss. You prefer to be "blissfully ignorant" and not face what is in front of you (and that bothers me). I don’t know you well enough after a week to make decisions involving you, and I shouldn’t have to. I am happy that you are able to be honest with me and tell me the truth, but I am angry that you don’t know what you want. You want a perfect Hollywood romance movie, but I don’t know if I am able to do that for you. I don’t know if I want to… but, I think I could be if you wanted it as well. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable; I want you to be happy. I am sorry if I came on too strong, but that’s just who I am. I am willing to work out problems as long as you are too. I enjoy doing things with people; I enjoy going out, not that I expect that all the time, but its just part of me and who I am. I am willing to close my eyes and jump if you are. I really don’t know why I am the way I am, I guess its because of my belief in fate and how things will happen if they are meant to be.... but that doesn’t mean that everything has to ride on a perfect golden path. Fate plays mysterious games with our minds and hearts, but eventually things will make sense. I like that you are able to tell me things that you know I wont like, but you feel you need to tell me anyway; but I also hate that you tell me things that I don’t want to hear. I am willing to work things out inside myself. I hate that you see the world emotionless, but I want to show you how to feel and be a whole person! I never thought that I would be able to be happy with someone else. And it just totally sucks that you don’t know if you can because it isn’t the way you “do things.” You can’t regret things that you have done. When you start trying to change the past, you’re focusing more on that than what you should be focused on. Have you ever, once in your life been truly happy? Why are you scared, just because I am not your perfect muse? Why can’t you just close your eyes and jump. I am willing, but you have to be as well. I am a terrible person sometimes, but that’s who I am, and I'm sure you know my flaws by now as well. I know that we shouldn’t have spent 5 out of 7 nights together, but I thought you felt the same. So I kept going down that path, but once again, you can’t regret things because it just turns into a vicious never ending cycle. I want to be with you.... but at the same time, I am not sure right now. I don’t know why I feel the way I do, but my feelings are genuine and that’s how I hope to keep things with you.

I love kissing you
I love the way you hold me before sleep
I love that you make the strangest noises when you sleep
I love your smile
I love the way you look at me

I want the love list to be longer than the hate list

I want you to be happy. One of my biggest flaws is being self-less. I would much rather sacrifice my own happiness for someone else’s, I can’t tell you how many times I have done that before. Just be who you are, and if things don’t work, then it was never meant to be, but it is not fair to fate (which I know you believe in) to automatically shut the door where perfection no longer exists

Remember, very few things last forever... but that doesn’t mean they don’t change you and your outlook on life. You never know what something could hold until you give it a chance and look at it for what it really is.

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

I'm Loving Life Right Now :o)

2005-03-26T17:51:00.000-06:00

Sorry I havent updated in what seems like forever, Ive been meaning too, but Ive been way too busy with work... and... a new boy :D
His name is Andy, shut up... I know Raggedy Anne and Andy... hush, weve already been there... but anyways, hes super awesome! I know I sound like a 15 year old girl... all giggily and shit, but hey, Im happy so leave me alone... I was kinda sad tho, because last night Angela and William invited us to go to a movie, but he had to work so he couldnt come... oh well, Im not pissed or anything, but I really wanted him to come... and I felt like it was kinda my fault that he hadnt gotten a lot of his stuff done... but its cool, were going out tonight when he gets done rehearsing with his band... so yay! His current work is editing a film and the totally cool thing was that on Friday night he let me watch what he had finished so far and then asked me what I didnt like about it, and I felt so bad because he had done so much work and I felt like I was destorying something... but again, it was cool because I was one of the only people who have seen it... so that was really cool... and weve hung out a lot and its great... im very happy....
Ive also been working a lot the past few weeks because of spring break kids... I must say that today was great..... please keep in mind that I usually despise Saturdays at Rainforest, but today was great... I made $134, and tipped out $35... so that means that before tip out I made about 170... how totally awesome is that for just 4 1/2 hours, how totally awesome is that... plus it wasa good too because I didnt get angry at people like I normally do... so yay!
Other than that... I really havent been doing that much... work is good... love life is good... so that totally rocks... oh and on Monday I told AJ that I had met someone and he didnt freak out on me or anything.. not that I thought he would, but I have a terrible memory of doing pretty much the same thing about a year and a half ago, and it didnt turn out to well... he was just very happy for me and yeah... so life is wunderbar! Or as AJ would say things just keep getting better und besser... (he thinks a language shift shows enthusiam or gets the point accross better... or something like that) So anyways kids... hope things are going well in your lives :o)

~Auf Wiederschrieben~

Yay For a Day Off!

2005-03-16T22:54:00.000-06:00

Well I woke up at 2ish today to my phone ringing... it was Tunde and he was inviting me to a party in Arlington... It would have been great to see everyone because without school I rarely see anyone who lives out there. But I have to work at 10:45 tomorrow morning, and I just went out to Arlington last night to hang out with AJ and yeah, so I told Jennifer that as much as I would love to go, I cant because of work and I dont want to drive home from Arlington at 1am the second day in a row... so yeah. Were gonna get together an hang out sometime on Friday tho, which will be fabulous :)
I didnt have to work today, so I stayed home and kept myself away from the stupid people of society and spent most of my time playing tetris attack and doing stuff on the computer.. Im still in my pjs :o) hehe but its okay, I think its well deserved! I am trying to beat the super hard level, and I get to one point and just keep dying... so that kind of sucks, biut oh well...
Shannon picked up my pm shift last night because I was just having a horrible day. I hate having to depend on other people to pay my bills for me. I hope tomorrow goes a lot better than yesterday was. If it goes super well, then I will probably stay and pick up a pm as well. I just wanted to get out of there last night... I was about to kill myself, or kill someone at least >:) hehe
AJ and I went to On The Border last night... it was all kinds of yummy. And then we got home and I invited Kristen to come over and hang out with us, but she had to work today so it didnt happen. Ryan and Robin got back from Alabama last night as well... I had fun playing against Robin on tetris attack... I beat her 3 times I think, 2 of them were flukes, but one time she said I actually kicked her ass, which was pretty gratifying... it makes the hours ive wasted in the past week on that game almost worth it :)
Well kids, thats about it... I cant think of much else to say... this is going to be one of my shorter posts.... Hope my life doesnt sound too boring :) jk Love ya!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

How I Love Rainforest.....please note sarcasm

2005-03-15T12:19:00.000-06:00

Sooo I worked 10 hours today, my first double in forever... it was a decent day, nothing too spectacular... except for a story... so here goes....
I was carrying a tray of drinks to my table 2 kids drinks (w/ lids) and an ice tea. Well Im on my way to the table and this lady is completely oblivious to everything going on... runs right smack into me causing my tray to fall and the tea to spill all over the floor and most importantly onto this lady at another table. The bitch that caused the spillage looked at me and the floor and kept walking without ever apologizing... thats what first made me mad, because it wasnt even my fault... so the lady that got the tea on her jumps out of her chair freaking out (ok for the non tea informed, such as this lady... tea is mostly water!) screaming about how its in her hair and crap. I said i was sorry and asked if she was okay, all that crap and Fran was standing there while I went back to get stuff to clean with so no one slipped in the water and stuff. Lee (our manager) went out there to talk to her and see if she wanted a new shirt to wear for the day until she got home... blah blah... well after i left he continues talking to her. Well I was in the kitchen remaking the drinks Lee came in and asked if I apologized to her, I said I did. So he went back out there and next time i talked to him he said that she didnt hear me and no one else had either. He reccomended that I go out there and do it again. I was like fuck that, its not my fault she totally flipped and was screaming about some fucking tea "in her hair" and couldnt hear me apologizing. also... it wasnt even my fault... but alas, of course that didnt matter. I wish I could have spilled tea on the lady who bumped into me, that would have been nice >:) *evil smile*
Well a little while later, one of my tables stopped Lee on his way to the kitchen and said what a good job i did and all that good stuff. Lee tole me and I was like there ya go :) who would have thought otherwise. I wish I could tell people how much crap I get all over my hands, pants, shoes and shirt everyday when they freak out about little things like tea getting on them... grr!
I did make $127 today... the lunch was good, but the dinner side blew. I think I had 3 tables at once one time and that was only because one got sat right when another was paying out. But yesterday... damn yesterday rocked! Between 11 and 3:30 I made $107 and it was ALL credit card tips. It was so gratifying for Lee to give me a $107 before I left yesterday... man it was awesome, and on Saturday I made $112 on just an AM shift as well. This weekend rocked. I wish I already had everything paid tho, and I would have the money for myself... oh well.
So afterwork today Kristen, Ashely, Leah, Monesa and I went to Saltgrass (yay for 50% off!) and we had a great time... but the service blew chunks! We were talkng to this other waiter Jerry who works there (we had him before) and we were like is she new or something? Apparently, this horrible waitress is a trainer. We were like no fucking way! She was so awful. My steak was underdone (I like mine medium and this cow was still bleedin rare) but she never came back to check on us so I just ate it anyways, plus other stuff.... so yeah... Our bill after the discount was $73 I think we ended up leaving her $25... Leah had put her price on her debit card (shes a hostess so she never had cash :D) and we told her to keep whatever was left in the book for her tip... which as I said was $25, well she brought Leahs card back and didnt even say thanks to us! That made us soo mad... we should have slipped Jerry some money because he did most of the work for us anyways. Grrness! Oh well, at least we had good company so it wasnt that bad. Kristen and I already had a Saltgrass date planned for Wednesday and we found out that Kerry was working so we are definately gonna ask for him next time and all will be well...
I saw Downfall on Saturday night with AJ. Its a German film about Hitlers last days in his bunker during WWII... great film. Im usually not too fond of war films but this one was exceptional. I wouldnt mind seeing again... especially since I wont have to read the subtitles as much and can pay more attention to details. I mentioned it to my Dad and he said that we would like to go see it on Wednesday night. I dont know how I feel about going to a movie with my father, but if nancy comes, I guess it will be okay. Well i think ive written enough... got some good stories out....
Oh shit, almost forgot... Sunday morning I woke up at 8:50, the latest I can leave I can leave and still be on time for 9:30 opening is 8:45... so I called RFC and Lee picked up (thank god) and I told him I had slept thru my alarm clock and I was gonna be about 15 minutes late. He said "Well you better bring some doughnuts!" I asked him what kind, he wanted Krispy Kremes. I was like dude, you do realize thats gonna make me like 15 minutes LATER. he was like I dont care just bring me some doughnuts. Im like alrighty.... so i got to the KK drive thru and sat there for over 15 minutes. I called him again from there just to let him know I was working on it but it was taking longer than planned. he was like its cool, I just want my doughnuts. Im like alrighty, hes telling me/giving me permission to be late. So yeah, I got there and he had his own personal stash of Krispy Kremes, and he told everyone that if he saw anyone trying to break into the office take all the money, but dont touch the doughnuts... he was joking of course.. but it was funny...
Okay now Im done :) I need to get to bed, or make an attempt because I have to work another double tomorrow....

Auf Wiederschrieben!

:o)

GASP $70.25?

2005-03-08T12:19:00.000-06:00

Hey kids! So I went to Wal Mart tonight after I got off work... my main goal was to get new pants for work because they have developed a hole and I can no longer comfortably wear them for longer than a few hours. Plus I also needed to get razor blades and shampoo and other crap like that. Well so I was just picking stuff up, not really noticing how much it cost. Then when I checked out and she told me the total was $70.25. I was like holy fuck! I mean, its not like I didnt have the money or anything, I had a great night at work, I just wasnt expecting to spend it all at once. So new topic....
For the first time... I think ever, I actually have absolutely nothing to bitch about from work tonight. I worked from 5-9:30 and made $94. My sales were 600 and yeah. So that was pretty exciting. I was talking to my friend Ashley and we have established that when we wear our hair down at work we tend to get better tips. Not quite sure why... but hey, u gotta do what works :o)
Friday afternoon I took the train up to Mockingbird Station, met Donna at the Noodle Kitchen, had some totally awesome Thai food... saw Finding Neverland.... I cried, yes I did. It was very good, but so damn sad tho. Oh well. And then we met her friend Kathy at El Finex and had some yummy mexican food. Good day in all, we had a lot of fun watching Johnny Depp :) Did u know that in German "depp" means retard?? Kinda funny if u ask me....
I worked Saturday morning. I wasnt in a checker section, but at least it was decent unlike the past few Saturdays that I have worked with James. But Brandon was food running and he replaced me. But I didnt care as much because as I said I was in a good section... Phatima and I thought James was somking something because he put us in sections right next to eachother (which he never does) and put us on a party together... craziness! But good craziness! I made 80 bucks I think??? Then after I got off work I rushed home to clean up and then met AJ at Cafe Brazil, thinking it wouldnt take us more than an hour to get our food and eat and stuff because we needed to make a movie at 7:20. But alas, things never turn out as planned. So yeah, we ended up just going back to his apartment (in arlington) for a bit and saw the 9:50 show. We saw Head On.... its a German film, also in Turkish... sorry i dont remember the German title. It was an excellent film... but I dont know if I would ever see it again. Its like one of those movies u see once and never again. I dont mind reading Subtitles, but after 2 hours it kinda gets to you. I heard from my dad (not that hes a great source of information) that there going to be releasing Downfall, it was the German film nominated for Best Foreign Film at the Academy Awards, pretty soon. Im not too into war movies, but it looks really cool. So anyways, after the movie and driving back to arlington we started to watch Run Ronnie Run but it was a little after 1, and I had to leave or else I would have had to stay at his apt. So I got home about 2, I was so fucking tired. I dont know how I got home, I was on the phone the whole time to keep me awake, I think without it, I would have hit a wall or something... which wouldnt have been that fun.
I went to my first baby shower on Sunday. It was interesting, pretty boring tho, I cant wait until all my friends start having kids and I have to go to them all the time... please note my sarcasm... but anyways. But it was for Melissa and she hates those stupid games, so we didnt have to play any... which was the best part ;)
So yeah, thats about it, I think I filled in everyone on the events of my weekend and such. sooooo

~Auf Wiederschrieben~

A Stuffy Nose and Head Makes a Not Happy Annie.... and other stuff

2005-03-01T23:46:00.000-06:00

So Ive been sick since Sunday, at first I thought it was because I didnt sleep at all on Saturday night and after I slept I would feel better... nope! I have taken some meds but nothing really helped... I went to Wal Mart today to get some different stuff and I picked up a Vicks Vapor Inhaler and I can breathe thru my nose once again. yay!
I got sooo pissed off at work on Sunday (not that this is unusal) but I think this had to be a pinnacle... or at least somewhere really close to it. I opened, as I do EVERY Saturday and Sunday, and James was manager... I dont know why exactly, but he hates me, as I have stated many times before, I rarely fuck up, but for some reason this man despises me! So he put me in section 11, just as bad as the previous 2 Saturdays of putting me in section 7. So I was already pissed... And of course I didnt get replaced, not like it was a big deal, technically you can make some more money in the time between replacements and am cuts, but damn it, I was tired, I felt like crap and people were some kinda shitty to me! So I was irate! I made 10% on every table except 2, and those tips were like 5 on 25 or 4 on 20, still 20% but it really doesnt do much when youre getting nothing on $75 and crap like that. Well so as I said I was already mad, and if I didnt have to make my rent money, I probably would have considered walking out, but of course I couldnt. So as I said most of my tips were 10% or less, and my sales were $400... I dont know how in the hell this happened but after tip out I still had $80!??! I think what happened was when someone paid me in cash some bills got stuck together and they didnt realize it and neither did I, so oh well... as a few people told me at work "dont look a gift horse in the mouth" Are there really gift horses, because if there are, I would love to have one for myself :)
So after spending most of Monday in bed due to my sickness, I went to AJs about 11:30pm. I played tetris attack, omg, that game is fucking addicting :) I spent about 2 hours trying to find a place such as Game Stop or something that still carried used Super NES games. I was pointed in the direction of this place called CGX in Stonebriar mall... they had a bunch of shit, but not the game I was looking for... however, there is a good part, he ordered the game for me from another store and its $7! I get to pick it up on Saturday... I guess that made my day worthwile.
So AJ did come over on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning... we hung out, watched some Penn & Teller Bullshit. It was strange, but good, but still strange. I didnt feel anything at all when I kissed him, this has never happened before. As I said its a good thing, but it was just different.... by no means am I saying his kissing skills have decreased :) but there was no emotion or anything behind it. Which is a good thing because I dont need to do that to myself again, and he doesnt need to deal with that stuff from me. So yeah, we had fun 0:-) and it was fabulous because as I said, it didnt mean anything, and I had no emotional attachment to the situation at all. For those of you who dont know, this a big deal for me, because no matter what, in times before, no matter the situation, I still had something for him, emotional or whatever you want to call it. But now, I am comfortable and not getting pissed off because of stupid shit... yay! If you havent noticed, this makes me happy. Altough some people reading this might be like... how can an emotion-less kiss make someone happy... youd have to know the whole story to understand... I do still care a whole lot about him, and yes, I love him... but its not a passionate love, its youre a big part of who I am and always will be, and I love your friendship-kinda-love.
Donna is off work on Thursday and Friday, and one of those days were gonna go see Finding Neverland at the Angelika... its the only place I know of that is still showing it, plus I love the Angelika anyways. I cant believe I still havent seen that movie, but oh well, by the end of this week that part of my life will be complete... lol
Well I think that I need to get to bed, at least lay down, relax and read... I have to work tomorrow so I better feel better... its Kids Night... oh fun...

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

Some Randomness From My Life

2005-02-27T03:10:00.000-06:00

Well so Friday night, we went to see Sunday in the Park with George, but Donna couldnt come, which totally just sucked donkey dick...long story short, I promised her that I would come again Saturday night with her... Anyways, the show was really good, Adam did a fabulous job... even tho they didnt have the orchestra in the pit, I guess it was behind a curtain or something... I dunno. So yay for Adam! Also, Adam is moving to Virgina, well I guess today... Sunday. Im gonna miss him, its not like I see him all the time or anything, but still Ill miss him, hes a great friend and I love him dearly. But, alas, he is moving on to bigger and better things, and therefore, I am very happy for him. I know he'll be back to visit and stuff, and not like we live in the stone age where cell phones, instant messager, and email dont exist, so really, not a big deal. But still. I hope everything goes well in Virgina, and all that good stuff...
So Friday night Rob IMed me on my phone (because still not internet... stupid comcast) and well I havent talked to this boy in over a year.. last time was around Christmas of 2003, and those of you who know the story know what it involves, so no need to expand there. Well since I was using my phone, eventually I was like dude, heres my number just call me because Im wasting a shit load of text messages on this conversation. So in short, he called and attempted to convince me to come over to his apt at around 2am or him come over to mine... I declined his offer (after much debate) because well, I know I can go without sleep... but I had shit to do tonight till around midnight... and I didnt want to be driving home from Donnas in South Dallas at 11:30 with no sleep (plus it was raining tonight... but of course I didnt know this at the time the offer was given) and it would have basically just been a bad idea. Well he was supposed to call me when he got off work tonight.. I guess sometime between 12 and 1, and its not almost 3, and no call. I had called him tho, around 2 and pretty much said, I guess Im going to try to go to bed, so yeah call me if u still wanna hang out, if not no big deal Ill ttyl.
Also, today I found out that AJ was accepted to Rochester for Grad School... yay to him, and when I got home I IMed him to say congrats and whatnot... we talked on aim for awhile about random stuff, his girl issues, and other randomness... well when I went outside to smoke I asked him if it was cool if I called (because well, havent talked to him since November... only real decent conversations included) and he said yes.. talked for a little bit more... and because Im bored, and had already planned on Rob coming over tonight (which was obviously a bust) and not sleeping, I invited him over.. after a long debate he said okay... So yeah, Im assuming hes in the shower, thats what hes supposed to be doing at least... honestly Im bored, and just a tensy bit horny... because as I said... I was planning on Rob coming over... So yeah, not totally sure whats going to happen, but sometimes thats a good thing right... btw, he got his eyebrow pierced, from the pic he sent me it looks way cool... cant wait to see it when he gets here. Damn, hes been in the shower a while, I hope he didnt drown or anything...
Work today was decent, for being in the crappy section (for the 2nd saturday in a row) I was in. I made aroung 60ish after tip out... which you should know by now, is ridiculous on Saturdays. Not great, but not terrible either... But I got replaced at 2, and it was great timing because all 3 of the tables I had just ordered and perfect for Tristan to take them from me so that i could get out of there and head on to Donnas to have lunch and what not before we left. So yeah I work again tomorrow, on my way home tonight Carissa called me begging me to pick up her pm shift Sunday, didnt really want to because I sort of have previous engagements... but she was about to come over and give me $90 if I did it... which made me highly consider it, but before I could awnser Fran had called her back and said he would do it for $20... but oh well, I open tomorrow and I would have ended up closing as well... not like that compares to Rob's 14 hour day, but oh well. So this way I can still do what I was planning on tomorrow, but im not $90 richer... oh well. Okay, well AJ is on his way and Im gonna jump into the Shower. I left you with enough randomness for today :)

By the way, comcast finally got their asses to our apartment this morning and we now have cable and interent again... if you didnt figure that out already... :)

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Stupid... Fucking Comcast

2005-02-24T18:05:00.000-06:00

So I got home from a double on Monday night... I got my dinner, sat my happy tired ass on the couch ready to watch family guy... i turn on the tv and.... ggsgggsssgggsss (the sound of static)... theres nothing but snow and static on the tv. Grrrr... So I attempted to use the internet! Nope, so I called comcast, talked to 2 very stupid people who said there was nothing wrong and the eariliest they could get anyone out to fix anything was Saturday! Damn it! Jen and I both work on Saturday, but I scheduled a time for them to come out anyways. Well a little while later I called the internet people (because the first time I called, I talked to the tv people). She told me that there was a problem in my area and it should be fixed by morning... Alrighty... so Tuesday morning comes... Still not tv or internet. Fuckers! Jen called on Tuesday and they said it would be fixed in a few hours, was it... nope! So last night we called again and by now Jen was furious... and basically the same thing. But she went off on them because they told her the same thing they had been telling us, itll be fixed by morning. Do they think we would keep calling if it was fixed this morning? Are we that stupid? Hell no, but they are... anyways... ahhh so I am currently at Nancys house, using the internet for the first time since Monday night, and I am going to be watching the Apprentice tonight.... since I cant watch it at my apartment.
Adams musical is tomorrow, Angela, Donna, Nancy, and I are going. I am very excitied, but damn, I am going to miss him when he's gone... so sad.
Work on Monday morning was a joke. It was dead, it shouldnt have been except for the weather was beautiful so not many people wanted to come to the mall on their day off of school... I wouldnt. But the night shift was a little better. I took a break (because James made us) and Monesa and I went to Saltgrass and got lunch. I go there about once a week.. but hey, why not... its 50% off! So no biggie, plus I pay $18 a month for the discount anyways, so why not use it.
Tuesday was pretty decent, I only worked at night. We got kinda busy for a little while (well busy for as many people we had on the floor) and Leo asked me to help out John with his party (because he was in the bar as well... why they gave him a party... I dont know) and since he couldnt force him to give me any of the money he made off of them... he bought me dinner. I got a $19 meal for FREE! Yay! I was happy. Everyone was like, damn did u make a shit load of money tonight.... I wish, Leo just bought it for me for helping John out.
So now theres this new rule for the Kids meals on Wednesday night. Apprently as long as one Adult Entree is purchased they can get as many meals as they want for $1.99! Bull Shit! The problem here is this: If there is a large table with like 10 kids and 2 Adults, thats shit for money. We do the same amount of work, and get a lot less money out of it. It used to be 1 kids meal per adult entree... which makes sense, but apparently when corporate made the new table tents, it doesnt say per it just says "with the purchase of an adult entree." To me that means the same thing... but apparently to the stupid customers it doesnt. Oh well, Ill deal, its only once a week anyways.
So yeah... I made my car payment gotta get money for rent taken care of next. Jen paid rent yesterday and I was like, hey thats your choice, you didnt ask me before you went so dont ask me for money until its really due on the 3rd. I asked her why she paid so early... she has to be the only person I know who pays a week in advance. She said she had the money so she wanted to go ahead and get it taken care of... whatever, Ill give you mine when I get it, by the 3rd! :)

So I guess thats it. Just waiting for Comcast to fix the shit in our apartment and then I will be a happy Annie. I just dont understand why it takes almost a week to get someone out to fix the problem. Do they really have that many problems that they cant get out any sooner than that? Thats kinda shitty if you ask me. Anyways... enough for now

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Ich kann schlafen nichts!

2005-02-17T03:47:00.000-06:00

I cant sleep, too lazy for a real post... so I stole this from Sally and here you gp

1. What time did you get up this morning? 2:30pm!
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girls best friend!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Oh my god, I cant remeber, is that sad?
4. What is your favorite TV show? family guy, svu, apprentice
5. What did you have for breakfast? bagel
6. What is your middle name? Margaret
7. What is your favorite cuisine? german or italian
8. What foods do you dislike? Canned Tuna
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? I like tortilla chips or cheddar and sour cream ruffles
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? A Perfect Circle 13th step
11. What kind of car do you drive? 1998 Chevy Malibu
12. Favorite sandwich? PBJ, none other
13. What characteristics do you despise? fake and dishonest people
14. Favorite item of clothing? flip flops or any of the new clothes I have recently purchased!
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? An all out Europe trip.... Germany, Amsterdam, Italy, Spain, France... etc
16. What color is your bathroom? an off white color
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything *on sale* from Lane Bryant
18. Where would you retire to? where ever my family is :)
19. Favorite time of day? late night/early morning
20. What is your most memorable birthday? Sweet 16 was pretty good, 17 was fun, 18 was interesting, 19 ick, 20 was Dr Pepper museum, trip to waco.... can choose probably 16, 17 or 20
21. Where were you born? Plano, TX
22. Favorite sport to watch? Swimming
23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? I dunno, I guess the question should be who will post this... Sally because she emailed this to me
24. Person you expect to send it back first? dunno?
25. What fabric detergent do you use? Purex, because its cheap-o
26. Coke or Pepsi? Screw that, im a dr pepper lady!
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl... i cant wake up for the life of me!
28. What is your shoe size? 9 or 10 depending on the shoe

Still not tired....

I worked today, got there an hour early thinking I had to be there at 4, nope 5! Shit, oh well, so I just sat around for awhile and talked to people and such. I got cut pretty early too which was exciting considering it was Kids Night and I despise Kids Night. So I called Mark and we met up at Salt Grass and I had some yummy food for dinner. I was so hungry at work, one of the kitchen guys said that he would make me somethig, but I would have felt bad if he got in trouble because our kitchen manager was one of the anal guys, so that would have sucked. And Im too nice for that.
My buddy, Rich, from work, needed some stuff from Frys and I mentioned that my dad worked there and could get him a discount, so he met me up there yesterday. The sucky thing was that he was driving from Grapevine and got stuck in terrible traffic and I didnt know until I was more than half way to my dads work. So I hung out with my dad for liek an hour... that was great fun, lemme tell you! *Please not the sarcasm* He took a break and I went with him and we talked mostly about my brother and the situation hes in, and wont let himself get out of... stupidity if you ask me... but my dad is such a hypocrite (sp?) he does the same things my brother does, but he just tells him hes wrong and yells at him and shit. Its very stupid... all very, very stupid!
Oh also while I was at Frys, the top ball on my tounge ring came loose, and I was trying to get it out of my mouth and my dad came up behind me and scarewd the shit out of me, so I choked on it! I was like FUCK! but its fine now... when I got to nancys I was looking for something to hold it in, i mean, itll stay if u turn it over and have the ball on top and the open side on the bottom... but it just gets annoying because it comes out and hurts sometimes. And the stupidest thing was, while I was at the mall yesterday I was looking at replacement balls for barbells. (I have actually lost quite a few in the past few months, which is really pissing me off... oh well) But I didnt buy any.
I also got my hair cut yesterday and re-dyed it (same color: BlueBlack). I like it, he did a good job styling it, but since it was kinda windy, that all went to hell. Especially after Nancy dyed it later on that night, yeah looked like ass because it was all nasty because of the dye.. much better now tho. The length is about the same, he cut off a little to get rid of the crappy shit, and layered the front and back. I usually go shoulder length when I get it cut, but I want to keep it a little longer, at least for a little while, something different. Plus you can do a lot cooler things with longer hair... heres the girly side coming out.
Why am I not asleep? Jens staying at Wes' tonight, thats probably why. I could always go watch tv, but thats too easy, I want to find other ways to keep myself amused... such as writing in my blog.
Did I not mention yet that I am so incredibly excitied and happy for Elizabeth! The porosal has to be the sweetest thing I have ever heard! Yay for her (I know Ive said this before, leave me alone)
However, it is kinda wierd to think someone I have known for over 10 years is going to be getting married. Shell be the first person in my group of friends from High School (and earlier) that I still talk to thats getting married. its just an odd thought that makes you stop for a second and realize that we are growing up, and we are going to be moving on with our lives. I mean I know that we have moved on, gone to different schools and what not, but getting married, commiting your life to someone... woah, thats huge. And shell be the first one of my good friends to do it. Well wait, no Julie is getting married this summer, but I havent known her as long as Ive known Liz, and I guess thats what I am talking about... Ok enough wierd thoughts...
I miss school, never thought I would say that. I am so bored without studying and homework and crap.... even when you skip class (which is normal for me) youre still busy because youre either A. worried about what you missed or B. trying to figure out what you missed by doing extra work... (for me its usually A). I miss being in class and learning. What really pisses me off, I guess, is that I really think I know what I want to do now... instead of just taking some shit classes and blowing them off because I still had not decided what i wanted to do... and now that I know what I want and cant go out there and get it. I know I eventually will be able to, but I want to NOW... impatience kicking in. Its just that I wasted 2 1/2 years not knowing what I wanted and now I do, and I want it, but its still out of reach... Grr!
So I guess I wasnt too lazy for a real post after all... But thats all for now kids, thats all I can think of really... and Im making myself mad now because of this school issue... Gute Nacht!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Congratulations Elizabeth!!!!!

2005-02-15T00:57:00.000-06:00

Hey kids! Just want to say major Congrats to Elizabeth on her Engagement to Chase! I am so happy for her!

Well I worked tonight... not too bad $75 on $500 in sales, so I guess I really cant complain too much! I did have some pretty crappy people tho, especially my last table... urgh... They sat there forever after I was cut, this lady took over an hour to eat 3 crab cakes. They were nice tho, but still.... and they left me 5 on 60... fuckers... I mean come on, if u sit somewhere for over an hour leave at least a decent tip. $5??? That can buy me.... a little bit of gas or a pack of ciggarettes... whooo freakin whooo! Oh well.. I guess the worst part was, I was cut right after they sat down and they took forever to finish up and pay me! Grrr... As i said, other than that, nothing was really that bad...
I went shopping today, bought 3 shirts and 4 items of jewelry. There was this incredibly cute skirt that I also found, blown with thin yellow pinstripe like stripes on it, and a yellow shirt too match. There was only one skirt left, but I didnt have enough money on me (which was probably a good thing) but if I go back tomorrow (im terrible i know!) and its no there, I guess it wasnt meant to be.... not like I wouldnt try another store or anything (innocent grin).
My ear still really freakin hurts, Ive been taking care of it... it doesnt hurt to lay on anymore tho, which is a good thing because I move a lot when I sleep. Its getting better tho... yay! Well i really cant think of much more for today...

Auf Wiederschrieben!

New Piercing!

2005-02-12T18:31:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't updated in over a week, not much has happened in the past week except for playing morrowind almost every free second of my time.... oh well, not like I have anything else to do right??

Well yesterday I spent the day with mark, got food at the bavarian grill... yummy and just hung out and whatnot, went to my moms. We went to PuttPutt and I played Soul Calibur, beat his ass, and then I played against the computer and got 4th place out of all the people who have played that game before, that was pretty excting. Later on, after getting my tax return moola... we went to Ace in the Hole, where I got a new piercing... its the one on the lower part of my ear (ive had my cartlidge done for some time) sorry the picture looks funny colors, i took it with my phone.... plus I just got off work, so my hair looks like ass! anyways, its hard to describe so just lookie!

Cool huh? I wanted to get a rook, the top part on the inner ear cartlidge, but Jen just did that awhile ago, so I want to be different, and Ill probably go get that done later on anyways! Yay! i love new piercings, there so much fun, everyones like does it hurt? Im like yeah, of course it hurts, but the hurt goes away. its swollen up a little bit too, which kinda sucks, oh well. Well Im off...

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Sushi!!!!

2005-02-03T23:39:00.000-06:00

On Friday night, Mark is coming with me and my buddies Angela and William to my favorite Sushi Bar in Arlington. I am quite excitied. Hes never had it before, but I think hes planning on just trying some of mine and then see what happens. They do have some cooked food there, but come on, you gotta get the sushi!
Work tonight was the same old crap as always, but I did have to close tonight. I made $75 in 4 hours, so I really cant complain or anything. Enough to pay Kari the money she loaned me, get gas and go to Sushi tomorrow! Who-hoo! I also need to go to Ulta tomorrow and get my eyebrows waced, I might go to the one in Arlington depending on what Angela is doing tomorrow if she wants to hang out before we go to get food or not. Not that going with me to get hair pulled out of my face is too exciting or anything, but we'll see!
Today was my mommy's birthday! She got her phone cut off so I just went and visited her and Tom. We watched the end of the Terminal, I had seen it over the summer tho. So nothing too spectacular. I am going to take her out to lunch sometime next week... I didnt have much money on me today, plus I was lacking time because I had to be at work at 6, so I left about 4 so I wouldnt get stuck in traffic, but I did anyways, oh well.
Well I think thats enough randomness for today!

Oh!!!! I am so excitied about Adams musical at the end of February.... Its Sunday in the Park with George, Ive never heard of it before, but its still going be fun! Donna, Nancy and I are going. Ok now Im done!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

I love tax returns!

2005-02-03T00:26:00.000-06:00

Yup.... so whats new? Not a whole lot has changed in a few days. I am going to be getting about $1100 back for my tax return. However, $500 is going straight to Nancy because she loaned me money for rent this month, but we are direct depositing the refund into her checking account anyways, so no big deal. I am also going to pay my speeding ticket that I got awhile back! Who-hoo! I am very excited about that, really, no sarcasm intended :o) Plus I am going to get new glasses! Excitied about that too, mine broke like last April or so, and I have just been going with out them. I mean I can see fine and all, but sometimes my eyes do get botherd. So thats exciting. And if there is anything left over after all that, I am going to just save it for rent/car payment.
Work tonight was retarded. Once again... what else is new. For over a year Wednesdays have been Kids eat for $.99 well for some reason they decided to change it to $1.99 starting tonight. We really dont know the reason behind it, probably corporate junkies just want more money in their pockets. I didnt really have any issues with anyone ofer the dollar difference but other people did. Leo was being a jerk to me, I dunno, maybe he wasnt and I was just in a bad mood. When I got there Ricky wanted to transfer a table to me and in front of James (stupid me) I said "well what do they look like," hoping they werent trashy or anything. He said they were Arabic and then James was like "Thats not very nice" I had to say I was just kidding but I really wasnt. I deal with enough trashy people (and I did tonight) that I really don't want anymore than are forced apoun me. ---- So back to the trash people I had tonight... their bill was $114 and I got $10 and they handed it to me so proudly. I mean, yeah, I knew that they werent going to give me much to start with but damn. And they sat there for well over an hour, took forever to order and the kids were really stupid and rude to me.... grr! Oh well, thats my life I guess. I also had this one lady and her husband get in a fight over something in front of me. I want to say "can i just get your order and when i walk away you guys can continue bitching at eachother," but of course I couldn't I just had to stand there... grr again!
I really truly despise my job! Oh well... whatcha gonna do...
After I got off (Gott Sie Dank!) I sent Mark a text message and he happened to be off at about the same time and we met up at Saltgrass and had a super yummy dinner :o) yay for 50% off! Whoo-hoo! I am taking Mark to Sushi with Angela and William on Friday. He's never had it before so thats going to be fun. He better not be a chicken about it, or else I am going to have to kick his butt! hehe!
I started playing Morrowind again. I havent played that in almost 2 years so I am kind of lacking in my skills. It is still a fun game, but because its been so long, plus I am playing the PC version and before I played XBox version, so its a bit different to move around a stuff. Oh well... wow I sound like a total nerd! Lol at me!
The corporate people weren't at work today, so that was exciting, we didnt have to worry about every little moce that we made while we had someone pretty much standing over our shoulders while we hoped we werent going to get fired. Alrighty kids....

~Auf Wiederschrieben!

I Hate Corporate A-Holes!

2005-01-31T23:22:00.000-06:00

Well I did drive all the way out to Grapevine today to go into work, but that didn't happen. I wasnt scheduled, but I needed to work (why else would I go?) but when I got there I was informed that the UpperCrust Big Wigs of Landrys were there... no beuno! I didnt have my belt on, my shirt had permanet ink stains on it, and I didnt have my retainer for my tounge ring in. I thought about it for awhile, wondering if they would notice, but I was like fuck that, I dont want to get fired today! I dont like my job, but that doesnt mean that I dont need it. I am going to get up tomorrow morning and try to go pick up, and if no one wants to go, Ill figure something out, find something to do until the afternoon. Because, well crap, I do need to work. I did get my W2 on Saturday so hopefully Ill get a decent amount of money for my tax return and that can take care of some of my money problems until later....
So what else is new you may ask? Not too much, I am lacking greatly in the motor skills department the last few days. When I went into Blockbuster last week I ran into the door, because unless I am the only person in the world who thinks this... most doors when you go in are PUSH... (am I correct here??) well I tried to push and obviously dumb ass me ran into the door that clearly states pull. The people there made fun of me for a little bit. When I was checking out, the guy was like you would have no idea how many people do that. And then theres the Cafe Brazil story with Mark that includes me spilling coffee everywhere... hey at least I can laugh at myself right? Thats what matters! :)
I talked to AJ online tonight for a little bit. I really do miss his friendship, I know hes busy and all, so I told him that when he can to give me a call because it really would be totally awesome to hang out with him! I kinda miss school, I never thought I would say that...
I really hope that tomorrow when I go in, the corporate people aren't going to be there. No fun. Especially if they are eating because I might end up waiting on them. But chances are since they were here today, they wont be back again tomorrow... or will they?????
Alrighty kids, not much else happening. Gute Nacht!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Sleep is good.....The Randomness of My Weekend!

2005-01-31T01:35:00.000-06:00

Sleep is good, too bad I haven't gotten much since Thursday night. Not that I am complaining or anything! So on Thursday (I believe it was) I was on AIM and like most people I have that link where you can find out whos been reading your profile and what not. Well I saw this screen name that looked vaugely (sp?) familiar. So of course I imed the person to figure out who it was. Well he finnally imed me back and it was this dude Mark, that I dated in November of 2003, and honestly had not thought about him since then. We went out a few times and that was that. Apparently (after talking to him the past few days) I freaked him out because I was like one of the first girls to ever show interest in him, plus I was his first kiss... and for some reason he kinda blew me off and there you go. So continuing on with the current story.... I talked to him for awhile on AIM on Thursday and then Friday I talked to him after he got home from work. We talked on the phone for like 3 hours (I love doing that with old friends!). So I finnally convinced him to come over at like 1:30 in the morning, and he lives kinda far away. He got here about 2:30ish and we hung out and what not. Didn't sleep, I'll be good and spare incredibly personal details.
So then I had to be at work yesterday at 9:30 but I got there a little after 9 because well as I said I didnt sleep so there was no point in after breakfast to go home and try not to sleep. Work was pretty decent. I did have some crappy people and some good ones.... you know, a normal day. **Keep in mind I havent slept since I woke up at almost 4pm on Friday** So I left work and came home took a shower all that fun stuff and Mark came over again. I wasnt sleepy, but my body was really tired. ~Funny Story: We went to Cafe Brazil about 9ish last night and I was so hungry because I had not eaten anything since bagels at 8 in the morning. We had chips and salsa, and that had to be the best damn chips and salsa ever! And I got chicken crepes, normal. Well i got a to go cup for my coffee and when I attempted to pour from the mug to the cup and went everywhere because I was not being intellegent enough to hold the cup while i poured. So there was coffee all over my pants, jacket, the table and what not. There was some in my chair between my legs, which if you have a decent imagination... yeah looked kinda funny. (end of funny story~ Well we went and drove around Richardson for awhile, stopped by wal mart and then went home. Well dumbass me didnt put my sheets in the dryer before we left for dinner but there was to fucking way I was about to stay awake for them to get dry. Way to tired, finnally got to sleep about 1am... And then 8am came way too fucking early.
I hate waking up to an alarm clock. I wish there was some other way to accomplish the difficult task of waking up on time, without an annyoing alarm clock. But theres no way in hell I would ever be on time to anything without it so I guess its a no win situation.
I must say that it was nice to sleep (actually sleep you dirty minded people) with someone last night. Damn, I'm in pain :o) hehe... ok kids I'll leave you with that!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Obssessed Much?

2005-01-28T22:20:00.000-06:00

Ok, so since I've started joining fanlistings 2 days ago, I am offically obssessed! I dont know how many are on here, and I'm afraid to count. Please forgive me for this! LOL

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Do you ever feel like?

2005-01-28T17:54:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like you are wasting your life? I am so bored I sleep till the middle of the afternoon, unless I have to work. I hate not being in school and not having a real job where I spend 8 hours a day. I know it will get better, but god, I feel like I am just wasting everyday. I know I could go out and do stuff, but do I really want to? Not really. This is afterall, the first time in my life where I havent been to school and can only focus on work. But, alas, My work doesnt schedule me that much so here I am again.
on a different note...
I watched this really wierd movie called Secretary the other night. Very odd. Its about this girl (Maggie Gyllenhal) who was recently released from a mental instution and she wants to find a job. So she gets one for James Spader at his law office. Well things go well and then they start to explore sexual things together. Very, very odd.

I might go see a movie tonight, but I dont want to waste anymore money. I need to give jen as much money as I can by the 1st and then see what i can do from there. Anyways, my dinner is ready

Auf Wierderschrieben!

fanlistings... Fanlistings.... FANLISTINGS!

2005-01-27T00:28:00.000-06:00

hey guys! Sorry I havent updated in a few days, I have been working a lot and such. I got bored tonight and started joining fanlistings just for fun. Something to make my page unique I guess. Anyways, thats about all that is new...

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Here I am....

2005-01-24T14:47:00.000-06:00

I don't know, Im in a really wierd mood right now. Mainly, I dont work tonight, but I really, really need to. So as soon as I finish this I'll probably go get ready for work and drive my happy little ass to Grapevine. Im sure someone will want to go home so I shouldnt have a problem there. Blah. I have been waking up so late here lately, its kinda insane if u ask me. Unless I work I wont get out of bed till way after 12, I also stay up really late but thats besides the point. Im just so freakin bored with not going to school and what not. Bah! Well I must depart, go get ready for work. Bye Kids
Auf Wierderschrieben!

Yippee!

2005-01-21T23:07:00.000-06:00

We finnally have comcast hooked up in our apartment. Yay!
I also just got done moving every single post from my two old xanga accounts. Now the next thing to do is play with this a little and see what other cool things I can add and so on.

I dont want to work tomorrow morning, I need to go take a shower, but I think that will require way too much energy.

it feels really wierd not going to school this semester, kind of like there is something missing from my life. Duh, its school I know, but its more than that. Maybe learning something everyday, or finding new ways to fill my days. I dunno. I need to be finding a real job so that i have enough money to live and save up. I miss Arlington a little, its kinda wierd. I never thought I would say that. Its probably just because I know more people out in good ol' A-Town than I do in Plano/Richardson. I dont mind driving out to Arlington (hint to my friends out there).
Well i am going to run to the store before it gets to be too late and I dont feel like anymore
:)

Auf Wierderschrieben!

Movin over!

2005-01-19T19:38:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I got bored with Xanga, costs money to do anything cool, so I am going to see what I can do with this. Im in the process of moving all my old posts from both xanga accounts over here, so it will all be in one place. Yippee! If you want me to link your blog, leave me a comment and Ill do it! Love to all!

MAJOR CONGRATS TO DANIEL FOR MAKING IT INTO CAROLINA CROWN! *kisses*

Boring Boring....

2005-01-06T19:19:00.000-06:00

Ive been trying to find another job for the past few days, but no hope there , I guess my best bet will be to attempt talking to my GM about a transfer. Its not that I depise RFC, actually I enjoy my job and I enjoy making money and being able to take it home with me everyday, I just hate the people who come in and the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. I think if I get into a new atmosphere, it will be a lot better. The only thing is I know the menu and drinks backwards and forwards, which comes with working somewhere for over a year. I dont want to go through the hell week of training at another restuarant. Plus taking the tests are never fun!
Grrrr
Im so bored of being bored.... If thats even possible. I feel alone most of the time, and I wont be able to register for school in the spring.... damn the housing policies of only have the lease in one persons name I still havent gone to CCCC to talk to them about not transferring just taking classes. I guess Ill do that on monday which will leave me a little over a week before the spring semester starts. I dont want to not go to school, but I dot know if that will work. I guess what I will have to do is tell them my situation and see what happens because I cant transfer because I have a transcript hold on my account, but I want to be able to take German 2 maybe I could ake a test or something... bah! My plan is to take German, History, Poli Sci, and some other core class that I need anyway. Hopefully by the fall I will have all the money cleared off of my account. If not then.... well I shouldnt worry about it now anyways.
Im also sick of being alone. I know this may sound retarded, but I am. I just want someone to be able to see and spend time with. Jens always gone which doesnt bother me because we would probably kill eachother if we saw eachother everday but yeah. But Im still alone in Plano all the time, so I come to my parents house just to get out of boring-world. I dont know, Im in a wierd mood right now. No more sob stories......
On a lighter note, I went cd shopping this weekend... I gotMorrissey - You are the QuarryModest Mouse - Good news for people who love bad newsA Perfect Ciricle - Thirteenth Step and eMotive

Well I guess thats enough for now kids! I hope your new year got off to a great start!

Auf Wierderschrieben!

Frohe Weihnacten

2004-12-25T22:07:00.000-06:00

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
My brother spent the night at my apt last night because Jen wasnt there and he didnt want to stay the night with my dad... cant blame him for that one. We watched Eddie Izzard.... super funny. I really need to rent/buy dressed to kill.
My Christmas was okay, my family is hard to be around for extended periods of time. My brother and I got to my moms about 1, David, Carrie and my niece Kacie got there shortly after. Kacie is the sweetest little girl. We were playing with this toy that has kittens for awhile. Shes almost 4. The cutest little blonde girl you'll ever see... well probably because shes my niece, but oh well.
What I got for Christmas:DVD player (from my dad)$20 Lane Bryant gift card (from david and carrie)Bootie Socks (from my mom, not so sure about these)Night Shirt (from my mom)Wallet (from david and carrie)Bath Stuff (from david and carrie)Gloves (from david and carrie)
and most AWESOMEST
A DELL COMPUTER (from nancy)
Yay, as soon as we get internet in our apt, Ill never leave... who hoo! And Ill get addicted to RPG games, yay!

Anyways kids Frohe Weihnacten

Auf Wierderschrieben

Merry Happy Night Before Christmas!

2004-12-24T19:18:00.000-06:00

Im so pissed, I had this beautiful long entry and then explorer decided to become retarded and lost it. Good thing I have about an hour while my scrumptious marbled pumpkin cheesecake bakes. Now time to remember what I was writing about...
On Wednesday Jen and I had a Christmas party, or just a get together we disguised as a Christmas party... but any who... Weather decided to snow, so a lot of people who were invited were unable to come because icy roads and stuff. And since a lot of my friends live far away (aka Arlington and beyond, and I now live in Plano) they werent able to come. No brownies ... hehe, some other time. I stumbled across my friend Tim on facebook whom I havent spoken to since sophomore year of HS and I invited him, so that was way awesome... btw, facebook is awesome:
http://uta.thefacebook.com/profile.php?id=25300709
Tuesday night, Cathleen got home and we went to Wally World so she could do some shopping, we started making asses out of ourselves and doing stupid shit and taking pictures with my phone. The new profile pic is from this wonderful event. The hat had some gloves on it and I was trying to make them wave, but now that I look at, it doesnt make much sense, oh well. I *heart* my phone....
Work this week has once again... dare I say it, retarded. Its been slow, Im sure that people just dont want to waste time/money when they could easily go somewhere else. Oh well, at least *excluding yesterday* people have been uber nice, or to me at least. However, today was fun. Last night my friend and I went to Wal Mart (damn I spend a lot of time there) and I got Strawberry Pop Tarts for my manager Lee, kind of as a Christmas gift, more as a bribe so I could leave earlier. And alas! I did, I got cut at 2ish. He also his 25 $20 bills throughout the forest (aka the restaurant) along with 2 $250 gift cars to Wal Mart. When I left at 2:30, only one $20 bill had been found. And we werent allowed to continue looking after we were off the clock because its not fair to the others who are at work, because if we were able to do that we could look at every single inch of the restaurant. Oh well, So ist das Leben! Although, Im curious to know if more were found.
Well apparently my brother was driving over here and got a flat tire. He has some major issues. He thinks that everything in the world thats bad or terrible as he puts happens to him. *rolls eyes* bleh
Im going to my moms tomorrow afternoon and my brother David, Carrie and Kacie are all coming, thats going to be a lot of people in her little apartment.
The holidays piss me off sometimes, people are so into themselves and what they need that they forget there are other people around besides themselves and their little bratty ass children who want all the toys in the world and will have a tantrum if they dont get the right toy for Christmas. I hate Christmas shopping and going to the malls during the holidays.... oh thats right I work at one... stupid me
I love winter. I love cold weather, especially cold weather clothes. Today is the first time is the first time ive worn my favorite sweater since February when it snowed last. It may sound weird, but those of you who know me well wont think Im nuts (well you may) but yesterday I was wearing flip flops at 5 something in the morning while I was outside talking and smoking with a friend of mine. Well I did also have on PJ pants and a t shirt, but still not too much clothing. I wasnt shivering at all. LOL, I left my work shoes in my car last night, because when I get off, I always take off my shoes because obviously I hate wearing real shoes, any who... While I was putting gas in my car this morning I was putting my shoes on and they were like bricks of ice, not kidding. They were so fucking cold, I must say for the first time ever in the history of Annie, I said "fuck, my feet are cold!" When I was lacing them up they didnt move, so I just left it alone. Well when I got out of my car at work I forgot I hadnt laced them and tripped on my way up the back ramp. Stupid me... funny story for the day....and I did bust my ass on Thursday morning leaving for work. I was so proud of myself on Wed night (when there was WAY much more ice) I never fell, I went outside fairly often as well. So I fell on my side on the sidewalk and I was carrying my fanny pack for work in my hand. Well as fell *in super slow-mo* my fanny pack (btw at most restaurants you would wear an apron, not at RFC) my fanny pack came out of my hands hit a nearby car, which just to my luck had a car alarm, and it set off the fucking car alarm. I was laughing hysterically at myself because of the fucking car alarm, and then I realized I was having issues getting up, it wasnt so funny anymore.... well maybe it was. *pass time* Later at work the whole right side of my body was aching. Stupid me for falling on the ice.
MMM Marbled Pumpkin Cheesecake is FINISHED!!!!
Alrighty enough for now kids! Ive typed my little heart out.
Merry Christmas!
Auf Wiederschrieben!

Ranting Away

2004-12-17T18:38:00.000-06:00

Well stuff keeps moving around me, and I am not able to do anything about it. Kinda sucks if you ask me. Hopefully it will pick up at work this next week because kids are out of school and yeah, they'll be bitchy because they had to park a mile away and wait for an hour before they get their food, but oh well. As long as they give me money... do I care... nope! On Wednesday night one of my customers cursed at me. Yes, I did go outside and take a smoke break. however, before I went out I made sure twice that they didnt need anything and everything tasted fine... blah blah. Well when I brought them their check, apparently they had freaked out because they couldnt find me for 2 minutes. Oh no! You arent they only people in the resturant... idots! Well So yeah I brought them their check and I was like is there anything else that I can do for you guys? He goes, no we just want to get the fuck out of here. I was like woah buddy back off! Jeezz....
Still not as bad as a few weeks ago when a 15 year old girl told me I had a shitty attitude and that I should never rolls my eyes at her again adn she doesnt want to see me again. Yeah, true story. So Lee went over and these girls were going on and on about how one of the "daddies" own a resturant. And Lee was like "first of all, Im not your daddy" LOL! They still got their dessert for free, but once again, I dont care, I just wanted them to leave. Plus they were bothering my other tables..

Last Friday Donna and I went to TCC and saw "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." It was absolutley fabulous, and Donna thought Adam was mighty cute and very talented... hehe He did do a good job... yay for Adam And in February, hes doing another musical so Donna and I must go. We invited Nancy to go along with us next time....
My brother got a boot put on his car for parking in a Tow-Away zone up at UNT this morning. Kinda stupid considering its his last day there ever, and this is the day the decide to put to boot on his car. His fault, but still its kinda stupid.
Jen and I are having a "dring yourself silly christmas" on wed night, hope itll be fun, somehow 30 or so people are going to fit in our apt... yeah right. Alrighty enough for now kids, im gonna play with my facebook

Auf Wiederschreiben

Moving... Finals..... BAH!

2004-12-07T18:45:00.000-06:00

So I moved to plano with my best friend Jen. I have finals on Wed (German) and Thurs (Linguisitics) so back to studying. I promise to fill you guys in more later, maybe with a few funny work stories when I have more time :)

Auf Wiederschrieben!

Gott Sie Dank!

2004-11-25T02:39:00.000-06:00

this week is over... now i gotta work friday and hopefully make an asslod of money for a car payment. im probably going to be moving in with jen in plano soon, so i can get out of my apartment and the terrible situation there....

THANKSGIVING!

2004-11-19T02:37:00.000-06:00

HAPPY TURKEY DAY
but yeah... ok bed time gotta work in the AM

I'm Still Here!

2004-11-13T02:00:00.000-06:00

Hey kids, sorry I havent updated in forever, Ive been away from a computer a lot lately. Just wanted to let everyone know I havent disappeared off the planet or anything! Life is Wunderbar... love you all.... fill u in more later

Auf Wierderschrieben!

Octoberween!

2004-10-31T01:25:00.000-06:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid Stupid Schedule!

2004-10-31T01:24:00.000-06:00

So I have been playing with my schedule... these damn 2 hour classes that should only be 1.5 hours are screwing up all my times! damn...
Okay beathe, not a big deal....
Auf Wiederschrieben!

I miss Melvin the Malibu

2004-10-31T00:27:00.000-05:00

So I just got back from a 12 hour shift at work.... bah ram work! hehe! Anyways, I picked up a double because if i can make another car payment I can get my car back yay! I have about 120 so I need to make 50 tomorrow, plus a little extra for gas and well see what we can do. I miss my Melvin very much! I was really bad about going to class last week, very tired, sick, and well just downright lazy. I have barely ever gone to my Journalism class. I am going to try to go everyday until the end of the semester. I have missed that class at least 10 times... very bad, and very bad also because I dont know her policy on absences....eeek! Anyways, but its so stupid and I feel like a jerk for saying this because it sound kinds bad.... but i alreayd know everything that we do in the class.... i go and i sit there bored out of my mind... and then next semester i am going to have her again for reporting and do the excat same stuff... according to this girl i met last week. Bah! I love journalism and writing, however, i DESPISE this class. ok done for now, i think i am going to go play with my schedule for next semester... funfun!

Auf Wiederschrieben!

What am I supposed to be doing?

2004-10-29T23:17:00.000-05:00

So apparently accorinding to www.mymajors.com i shouldnt have changed my major.
Rank
Major
(1)
Music Education
(2)
Music
(3)
Art
(4)
Creative Writing
(5)
Special Education
(6)
Interior Design

I guess creative writing could be considered journalism

Up for a Quickie???

2004-10-29T21:29:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say hey guys, im doing a bit better, but it will still be awhile before I get my car back. I got my cell phone on monday and I have been playing with it ever since. I *heart* it :> hehe anyways, I am off to my moms house. tty guys later
Auf wierdersehen!

I LOVE MY PHONE!

2004-10-16T19:31:00.000-05:00

I got a brand spankin' new phone! Check this Shit out!

http://www.nokiausa.com/phones/6820/1,2803,feat:1,00.html

FUCK YEAH!

2004-10-16T18:18:00.000-05:00

I GOT A 97 ON MY GERMAN TEST :)

All by myself

2004-10-15T20:16:00.000-05:00

Im so bored and lonely right now, I am about to cry. I just want someone to freakin call me.
Plus I dont know how I am going to get to work tomorrow because I cant get a hold of Miranda or AJ... blah

PHEW!

2004-10-13T09:22:00.000-05:00

So I just took my Journalism test... super easy, I was 10 minutes late to class and I finished at 8:20! It was 50 questions all multiple choice... so yeah. I have to come up with some story ideas for Journalism.... any ideas? It can be pretty much anything but i have to be able to interview people on campus. Yea... so anyways, Im here wasting some time until Deutsch, and I get my test back... eeekkk! I know I did well I just think that when I was doing the telling time part of the test, I didnt put Uhr after Es ist zwei. It should be Es ist zwei Uhr. Kinda like it is 2 vs it is 2 o'clock. yeah.... Auf Wiedersehen!

Midterms blow chunks!

2004-10-12T13:46:00.000-05:00

Hey guys... well I wont get my car back until at least next Tuesday, Nancy is going to get the money and I am going to pay her back, but it wont be for another week. This sucks so bad. I miss having a car. Youd think that because I went 3 years without one it wouldnt be that big of a deal, but it is. At least I have my apt on campus but walking sucks... but its okay. I really dont mind it that much, its just that when i want or need to go somewhere I cant. Oh well. I just have to worry about getting to work again this weekend, but after that everyhting should be good. I am going to apply at best buy and see what kind of money they are going to be paying. A new one just opened in North Arlington, so I am going to go up there because I am sure they still need some more people, especially with the holidays coming up soon! I cant believe it really is almost time for the holidays again.
I have my first test in media writing tomorrow, wish me luck! Hopefully I wont need it, I mean I know most of the stuff already... but still... And I have my second test in Social Psychology tonight... I hate midterm week. Lets see what have done and will have to do for my classes this week....

Montag- German test
Dienstag- Linguistics quiz, Social Psyc test
Mittwoch- Media Writing test
Donnerstag- Lingusitics Quiz
Freitag- NICHTS!! WUNDERBAR!

Alrighty kiddos, I gotta head back to my apt and clean and study...
Tschüss!

Survey Time! Woot!

2004-10-11T12:25:00.001-05:00

Now time for a boredom survey:
Name: Anne Margaret Lamberti Backwards: Itrebmal Teragram EnnA
Does your name mean anything?: Anne: full of Grace, Margaret: child of light,Were you named after anyone?: Anne: Grandmother on my Moms side, Maragret: Grandmother on my Dads side
Nickname: Annie, Annabel, Fanne, Bananie etc
Screenname: utaclarinetchick.... gonna change it soonPlace of birth: Plano, TX
Current location: A-townHeight: 5'6''Shoe size: 9-10
Hair color: brown
Eye color: hazelRighty, lefty, or ambidextrous?: rightHow old are you mentally?: depends on the dayDescribe yourself in 5 words: wow I can only use.....
What are your worst qualities: Only look at the bad things, worry too much, stuff like that, try too hard to make people happyWhat are your best qualities: caring about people, try my best to do what I need to do
Do You Have...Any sisters: neinAny brothers: Ich habe ein Bruder Jeff, er is 22 und ich habe ein Halbbruder David, er is 35Any pets: neinA disease: neinA pager: neinA personal phone number: jaA pool or hot tub: neinA Car: Ja, ich habe ein MalibuDescribe Your...Personality: Im just me
Driving: I 99% of the time drive the speed limit now since I got a ticket
Car: '98 Chevy Malibu
Room: white walls, shades of blue paper as a border on half the walls
School: UTA...
Relationship with your parents: dad... ick, mom... goodDo You...Believe in yourself?: Ja
Believe in love at first sight?: JaConsider yourself a good listener?: jaConsider yourself a good friend?:jaGet along with your parents: manchmalSave your e-mail or conversations: manchmalPray: neinLike to make fun of people: yeah but for fun, i dont mean harmLike to talk on the phone: all zu oftLike to drive: ja
Eat chicken fingers with a fork: NEIN!Type with your fingers on home row: neinSleep with a stuffed animal: nein
What Was/Is (or Are)...Your dream car: Passat oder Audi
Your dream date: Ich weiß nichts
Your dream honeymoon spot: Europa... Deutschland, Italien, Frankreich
Your dream husband/wife: ??
Your bedtime: Ich einschlafe um MitternachtUnder your bed: die Bücher und die KleiderYour bad time of the day: when i have to wake upThe hardest thing about growing up?: das ErwachsenwerdenCraziest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s)?: Ich weiß nichts
The worst feeling in the world?: das Alleinsein Favorite...Number: dreizehnColor: grün und blauDay: Freitag!Month: Mai und Oktober
Movie: Breakfast Club
Food: jetzt Deutsch.... mmm SchnitzelBand: Ich weiß nichts
Season: der HerbstSport: nichts
Teacher: Herr Doktor Hunt, Herr Doktor Malyuta, und Frau WilliamsTV Show: Law and Order SVU
Store: Lane bryant Animal: der Hund
Flower: Iris
Love + Relationships...Do you have a bf/gf?: nichts jetztDo you have a crush?: nein
If you're single...why are you single?: Ich weiß nichts
How long was your longest relationship?: dann und wann vier JahreHow long was your shortest relationship?: zwei wochenWho was your first love?: AJ
The Past...Last thing you heard: die Typisierung
Last thing you saw: die computerabschirmungLast thing you said aloud: Tschüss
Who is the last person you saw?: Den Mann
Who is the last person you hugged?: AJ
Who is the last person you fought with?: Meine Eltern
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: AJ
What is the last TV show you saw?: Aqua Teen
The Present...What are you wearing?: die Jeans und das Hemd
What are you doing?: Ich tippeWho are you talking to?: keinemWhere are you?: ransom hall
How are you feeling?: gutAre you in a chatroom?: neinThe Future...What day is it tomorrow?: DienstagWhat are you going to do after this?: Ich SchlafeWho are you going to talk to?: jenniferHow old will you be when you graduate?: 23?What do you want to be?: dir JournalistinWhat is one of your dreams?: abslovieren
Have You Ever...Smoked?: jaStole?: jaHit someone?: jaSelf-Evaluation...What do you most like about your body?: meine Augen
Do you think you're good looking?: ich bin interessantDo other people often tell you that you're good looking?: manchmal
Do you look like any celebrities?: nein
Fashion...Do you wear a watch?: ja
How many coats and jackets do you own?: dreiMost expensive item of clothing?: Meine Jackeerbse
Describe your style in one word: MichHow long does it take you get ready in the mornings: fünfzehn minuten
Do you write in cursive or print?: printWhat piercings do you have?: sechs.... fünf Ohr, ein Zunge

Wunderbar!

Abortion Rant

2004-10-11T12:25:00.000-05:00

I just left a a comment on my friend adams xanga. heres what I said, its in response to kerry's awnser to the abortion question during the debate on friday
I think what Kerry meant by that is just because he believes one thing does not mean that because of what he believes he cannot make a descision for millions of women. Some women do it for very particular reasons, and sadly yes, others do it because... oppsss... didnt use a codom, shit. But for the women who need this option for health concerns or otherwise, it should still be open for them. Its sad to say that some women abuse this, but it is true. But I dont think that anyone should be able to say what someone can and cant do. Some people believe its murder, some believe that a fetus isnt a life yet, its just merley cells that have divided. I know that I am an intellegent human being, and I realize when I make the wrong descision, I know when I am doing something stupid. I dont think that I could get an abortion, just because I know that my father wanted my mother to get one with me, and if he would have done so, I wouldnt be here. But I dont know and most people dont know until they get pushed into a situation, and it seems as though there are only a few options. I believe the president should represnt everyone, not just his views on an issue. How do you feel when someone pushes their ideals or beliefs onto you? That is pretty much what he is saying with as a president, I have to represent all the people in the nation. And I have to make that judgment.
-----Therefore, if he made a descision, with only what he believed to be true, he would be forcing his beliefs on millions of people, regaurdless of what they believed. I hate it when people think they know whats best for everyone. Everyone doesnt live the same life, everyone cant make the same descisions, everyone doesnt believe the same thing. A president or anyone for that matter should not be able to tell someone what they can or cant do... if that abortion, or anything else.

ok im done now

Is it possible to get too much sleep?

2004-09-30T17:33:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, sorry I dont update much anymore, I dont think that it is a lack of time as much as laziness and limited access to a computer. I think something is really wrong with me... I fell asleep between 5:30 and 6 last night watching TV, thinking I was just going to take a nap and I couldnt wake up... Meredith came in and made sure that I was alright about 10ish. I got up, got something to drink and went back to bed. I woke up again about 3 and then went back to sleep and didnt wake up again until 11am! Thats like 17 hours... I dont know, maybe I am just exhausted, but I have never slept that long before.
I had a Lingusitics test last Thursday that really bit my ass off. I thought I knew everything, but he asked questions over stuff that we talked about for just a few minutes, I know its all fair, but I felt really dumb. Oh well, at least now I know that to study for on the next one......EVERYTHING. I got a 71 on the test, but I know that I can do better on the next one, so I am not too worried about it right now.
I came to the library with this plan to get ahead on my work for all my classes, yeah I dont know if that is going to happen, I think I really just wanted to get out of my apartment.

Schoolin'

2004-09-22T22:07:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! Well school is going well.... great actually
I am currently at the library studying for my Linguistics test, Im sure that I know everything... so thats why I am taking a break.
I got a 95 on my first German test, I didnt do so hot on my Social Psyc test, but I think its because I missed the first day, and thats pretty much what I missed. So Im hoping for a low A or high B on my ling test.... wish me luck :)

Hey guys visit this page!
http://www.optillusions.com
Im a dork I love optical Illusions

Fucking Retards!

2004-09-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, yup, Im still here. I am so tired of being treated like crap at my work. Its like what the fuck do you want out of me? I work 12 hours every Saturday for you guys, you put me in shitty ass sections every Saturday I work! Are they punishing me for something that I dont know about? Did I do something terribly wrong? NO! They never have comps or voids from me, unless I just totally forgot something which is rare, or something happens that isnt my fault.... the steak is too done.... some other dumb server dropped an entire tray of drinks right next to my table... see not my fault! Do they not realize that I am here to make money.... oh no thats right... Im there like some of the other shit heads that work there and dont need shit, their parents pay for everything... oh and thats right... they get put ingreat sections, while Im over here trying to get a tab above 20 bucks! Oh and, may I dare mention food runners. Since when do you have to be an expo to run food. If only expos can run food.... then why the hell am I giving them my money? I dont want to be an expo, I dont want to waste my time and work for free! If I tip out the food runners on average 30 bucks on a saturday.... and I am never going to see this money come back to me what the hell am I doing it for. When I first started there, I was told, yeah everyone gets food running shifts, that way the money all comes back to you. In a year i have had 3 food running shifts. That doesnt make up for all this money I keep shelling out every weekend. And these bitches have the right to tell me that I am not giving them enough money.... Oh theres two of you... my sales are $500.... well there are 2 bartenders and hell... 6 busers, do I have to give each of them $5. Since when is that far. Oh and... why the hell should I be forced to run food, when I have better things to do that stand there and wait while the slow ass expo takes forever to get the tickets ready. I got shit I need to do, oh but yeah, I am going to be late to my tables make them wait for stuff they shouldnt even have to wait for.... because I am running food, which I am giving someone money to be doing? What the fuck sense does that make!
Okay so now that thats out of my system. It seems a lot shorter when I am just talking to someone....
School is going well. However, I feel like I have never had to do so much work for any of my classes before. I need to work tomorrow but i have a lot of work I need to get done... Lingustics is amazing, I absolutely love it! It makes me think of things that I have never even thought about before... Question for you guys.... If someone had never heard speech, or any language at all, therefore there would be no words to convey a concept or idea right? Then would the idea ever exist...?

We talked about this on Thursday in class. AJ just called, my spirits got lifted like 100 feet. Its wierd how things like that happen... he was gone all weekend to Lufkin, I havent talked to him since Thursday night, and I was really bitchy because of this SAI rush function that didnt happen... AGAIN... and I just talked to him, and nothing was wrong... I thought he would still be upset that I was bitchy... and yeah.... I dunno. Maybe Im just fucked up....

Life is a revolving circle of shit

2004-08-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

Hey there fellow bloggers....
Life is still pretty dull. Everyone strarted Marching Band yesterday... and thats right... I didnt have to go.. On Sunday AJ and I rented this really awesome movie called Good Bye Lenin, its great. Its in German, but there are subtitles so no worries guys!
I have never wanted to go to school so much in my life, but the fact that I might not be able to this semester is killing me. Because of the hold that is still on my account, and my financial isnt going to go thru in time, I might not be able to go to school this fall... this sucks. I am going to email my aunt tonight and see if she could possibly help me, knowing that I will have the money to pay her back in just a few weeks. I worked all summer trying to get this caught up, but it didnt get me anywhere, I feel like Ive wasted everything that I have made all summer. I know that I didnt, because we still have out apartment and Im not living back at home or anything... but yeah. I never want to get myself back into this situation again. I have to make a car payment this week too... so yeah... so meaning less typing...
Ive spent the night at AJs for the past few nights, I left Mer a note on the fridge letting her know that I am still alive and havent disappered or anything... Blah!

Ok Im done.... destress.... destress.... destress

Marching Band? Not Me!

2004-08-13T19:09:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, Im still alive, no I havent fallen off the face of the earth as some of you have asked. So yeah... Marching Band starts next week, oh thats right... Im not marching... yay me Anyways, nothing much else has been going on, I have had a few days off work, well 2, and Ive just been relaxing and same old stuff. I got some new tounge rings, I gave AJ a blue one because he gave me one of his.... wow am I boring or what? Nothing to write about and its been a week since my last entry. Well guys, Happy Friday the 13th!

The Walls at RFC are Soooo Interesting!

2004-08-05T18:29:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, its slowed down so much at work. but what is stupid is that we keep going on unnessecary waits and that makes all of us just sit around and stare at the walls. I finnally have tomorrow off, I need money but fuck it, Im exhausted, plus I havent had a day off in over a week, so time for a break. I need to go pay my half of the rent tomorrow when i get back to Arlington. I still will be a little short, I think its better to pay what I can and them Monday before I go to work, pay the left over. Thats about it.... my life is kinda boring right now...

School or Work... you decide

2004-07-30T01:02:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, sorry so long since my last entry. I guess I just havent been around a computer much lately. I cant believe summer is pretty much over! It went by so fast, but actually im kinda looking forward to school starting up... means I dont have to go to work everyday... j/k I am actually excitied abotu my classes. Not much else going on my life.... sos so yeah. Well Im gonna make this short just wanted to let you know Im still alive.. time for Family Guy :)

Sticking out my tounge!

2004-07-16T13:16:00.000-05:00

I got my tounge pierced! And its not swelling up... yay!

Just sitting around....

2004-07-12T18:10:00.000-05:00

Well Im waiting on Jen to get over here. I just got back from work... were going to go to target and ulta... maybe other places, not sure yet. Work this weekend was HORRIBLE!!!!!!! I cant even put into words how god awful it was. Saturday my sales were over $1000 and guess what I walked with.... $75!!!!!!!! Yeah The best tip I got way maybe 10%, plus almost 4% tip out on Saturdays... it sucked hard. Sunday was okay, just slow... I went to Bennigans with Destiny after work.. Oh and I saw Anchorman on Saturday after work with Leah, it was hilarious, we both loved it. My stomach hurt from laughing so I guess that made Saturday a little better. On Friday my manager Lee is going to be doing Kareoke (sp?) at Trail Dust in Arlington where Austin works, so me, Melissa and Jonathan from work are going to go. I might get mer to come, depending on what shes doing.
I still miss AJ, I still hurt, but Im surving still sucks tho... Oh well.... nothing that I can do I guess.
Welp, Jens here so I must go be with the awesomest person in the world!!!!!!

A Million Choices

2004-07-05T23:59:00.000-05:00

Well guys, things havent changed much since my last entry. Ive worked the past 2 days and made decent money. I was working on my schedule for the fall, MWF are going to be my easy days. Ill be done at 11 or 12 depending on when I take a certain class. I doubt that I am going to do Marching Band our take lesson unless some act from out of this world leads me to take them. I have decided that I dont want to be a music major anymore. I thought about it and I loved doing Journalism stuff in high school, and I just kind of dropped. No quick judgements but I might lean towards that as my major, not sure yet. i am going to take writing for Mass Media in the fall, its at 8am but Im sure Ill love it. My plan is not to take any music classes this fall and if I miss it terribly and realize it is what I am supposed to do, then Ill go back, I might to concert band in the spring, but with this new director.... highly unlikely. I just dont enjoy music as much as I used to. I tried for 2 years to convince myslef its what I should do even though I always had doubts and new in the back of my mind that it isnt what I really wanted. Ive tought that I have wasted 2 years of my life, but I know in truth that I havent. I know that I am not happy on the path that I am taking, and Ive learned that. I want to retake German I because I know that I didnt learn nearly as much as I should have and thats one reason why I felt so lost in II and why i stopped going. I want to be talented, I used to be "talented" at clarinet, but I dont feel it anymore. I love german, hell I lvoe foreign langues, except spanish. I am also taking lingusitics in the fall. Im excitied about that. That would be fin a Journalism and Lingusitics double major seee... Im alreayd much more excited than I have been about music. Im starting over my college career if you will.... Ive screwed around for 2 years and now its time to get my head on straight. Anyways, off to play with the SAI website for awhile.... hasnt been updated since February!

Randomness

2004-07-05T00:12:00.000-05:00

Im feeling better now... he knows I miss him terribly, but I am trying to deal with it... on a better note, Mer and I are going to pay rent ON TIME this month! Yay! Well Im about 100 short, I think, but I work a double tomorrow and I will stay until we close if I have to to pay her back the money. So yeah. i thought it was going to be busier today than it was, but it wasnt, I made like 30 bucks. I washed my car and had to get some coolant for my car because my dad said there was NONE in the thing. I was like holy shit! i started reading this great book, called Good In Bed. Its wonderful and honestly, it might sound dumb but it makes me happy. Anyways, I think I am going to do laundry.... Hope everyone of you are doing well.

Ups and Downs, FUCK!

2004-06-28T15:50:00.000-05:00

I hate how my life can go from so happy to so crappy in the matter of a week... I was so happy a week ago and now its all gone to crap. I love him so much and I know that he loves me, and I guess thats what I dont understand. I want to be with him so bad but I cant... I have to be patient, he has to be happy and things will be better after he goes and does the things that he needs to do, but that doesnt make it hurt any less. I love him so much. I dont want him to go away again.

Another 10% day

2004-06-23T01:06:00.000-05:00

Well I made just barely enough at work today to make a car payment.... so thats good, I have to call in the morning and hope everything will be okay. Yeah... blah, but it was a 10% day at work.... I think I made more than 10% on about 2 tables... yeah... Hopefully Ill be in a better mood later.

I wanna crawl in a hole

2004-06-20T18:04:00.000-05:00

This week fucking sucked, thats easily put! Work was terrible, I didnt make crap all week, tomorrow I have a car payment due and if I dont make it then well.... shit the repo man might find me and take my car which means i will be totally screwed over! But there is nothing I can do, I am trying to save our apartment but its becoming a lost cause and I am trying to get my car in order..... but I dont know which to do first. I dont have enough for either of them right now. I was to just crawl into my bed and cry for a long time. I dont know whats wrong with me, I dont know why I wait until I am over my head in all this shit to do anything about it and when I do its too late. Grrr! I have a day off work tomorrow, but I NEED the money, but I havent had a day off in like almost 3 weeks, so maybe Ill work tomorrow and have tuesday off... I dunno... I need to go before I lose it.

Survey Time.... who-hoo!

2004-06-14T18:10:00.000-05:00

AJ is the best!

LAYER ONE:-- Name: Anne Margaret Lamberti-- Birth date: May 18, 1984-- Birthplace: Plano, TX-- Current Location: Arlington, TX-- Eye Color: hazle-- Hair Color: Brown-- Height: 5'6"-- Righty or Lefty: RightyLAYER TWO:-- Your heritage: Italian, Norwegian, uhh yeah.... Im a mutt-- Your weakness: AJ-- Your fears: being alone-- Your perfect pizza: Papa John's with pepperoni and mushrooms, or Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust with Chicken-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To be happy
LAYER THREE:-- Your most overused phrase(s) on AIM: soooo....-- Your thoughts first waking up: What time do I have to be at work... ok 20 more mins-- Your best physical feature: Eyes-- Your bedtime: whenever I get tired-- Your most missed memory: not having money problems
LAYER FOUR:-- Pepsi or Coke: Dr Pepper -- McDonald's or Burger King: Wendys-- Single or group dates: single-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea--Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!!!!!!-- Cappuccino or coffee: Frappucinos!
LAYER FIVE:-- Smoke: never! -- Cuss: I have a pretty bad mouth-- Sing: in the car--Take a shower every day: I try to-- Have a crush(es): Ive always crushed on AJ-- Do you think you've been in love: Absolutley-- Want to go to college: not as much as I used to, but I'm still going to continue-- Like high school: I liked it while I was there, but I would never want to go back-- Want to get married: Of Course-- Believe in yourself: Most of the time-- Get motion sickness: Sometimes when I am reading in the car, but rarely-- Think you're attractive: Depends on what I am doing and wearing-- Think you're a health freak: Never-- Get along with your parent now: More with my mother than my father-- Like thunderstorms: They are awesome!-- Play an instrument: Clarinet, attempted piano, took a class and played: viola and percussion, didnt do very well in those
LAYER SIX:In the past month . . . -- Drank alcohol: yup-- Smoked: No.-- Done a drug: yup-- Made out: yup -- Gone on a date: Ja.-- Gone to the mall?: I work in a mall -- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Cant say that I have-- Eaten sushi: Nada-- Been on stage: no-- Been dumped: no-- Gone skating: no.-- Made homemade cookies: Yes-- Gone skinny dipping: nope-- Dyed your hair: No-- Stolen anything: NopeLAYER SEVEN:Ever . . .-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Sex! Hehe its a game u play in the car-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I believe so-- Been caught doing something?: No-- Been called a tease: Nope.-- Gotten beaten up: Nope.-- Shoplifted: No-- Changed who you were to fit in: why would i do that?
LAYER EIGHT:-- Age you hope to be married: before Im 25-- Numbers and Names of Children: 3, AJ and I want the first to be a boy and the other 2 to be girls. The boys name.....? Girls Summer Anne and .....?-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Just something memorable and beautiful-- How do you want to die: Something quick and painless-- Where you want to go to college: Im at UTA for now... but I want to transfer, not sure where now-- What do you want to be when you grow up: honestly, Im not sure-- What country would you most like to visit: Germany
LAYER NINE:In a guy/girl . . .-- Best eye color: green-- Best hair color: brown-- Short or long hair: whatever looks great-- Height: just a bit taller than me-- Best weight: doesmt matter as long as they are happy-- Best articles of clothing: Suits and Tuxes... jeans and shirts are of course great too!-- Best first date location: a park with a hill and a creek -- Best first kiss location: see aboveLAYER TEN:-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 1-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 2-- Number of CDs that I own: never counted-- Number of piercings: 5 holes in my ears-- Number of tattoos: 0-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I dont want to count

I hope things look better now AJ, I love you

FREAKIN SWEET!

2004-06-11T03:01:00.000-05:00

Its almost 3am and I am not sleepy! grrr, I hate this, AJ is fast asleep and I am sitting here watching Wild On on E. Im not mad at him by no means, its just wierd because we are never tired at the same time on the same night, I went to bed early last night and he stayed up... yeah OMG.... I made $200 today at work, and whats great is I picked up both of the shifts, I wasnt even scheduled. Thats the most money I have ever made working... so yay! Well IM gonna go play a game or something

Icky Icky!

2004-06-09T23:19:00.000-05:00

Just finishing up cleaning the apartment, it was nasty. When we went to the store we got some swiffer wet things, AJ used 3 on the kitchen alone, and I used 2 in the bathroom! Icky! I have to go to work again tomorrow at 11:30, I am going to tell the manager that I need to work a double, because I need to make at least 100 bucks. Hopefully with a double I can make more than that tho. If I cant work a double for some reason, then I will ask to just stay all afternoon. I am still pissed about this afternoon. Well on tuesday, I did make 160 bucks, but that still doesnt make up for the 5 I got today. Anyways, I am hungry, Im gonna go find me something to eat :)

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

2004-06-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

Its another rainy day in good ol A-Town again... blah! I worked for just a few hours today, I really didnt want to, I am so tired, and I knew I shouldnt go to work. But I was like what the hell am I going to do until 5 when AJ gets off work anyways.... so I decided to go in and pick up. I made 5 dollars after tip out and paying for the discount program. Ugh, it was pointless. oh well, it gave me something to do for a few hours. Anyways, I am going to look up some recipies before we go to the grocery store tonight.

I want to sleep!

2004-06-04T01:59:00.000-05:00

Well once again I am not sleepy.... AJ is watching a thing on the History channel about D-Day and when its over, we might go drive around or something. I am tired, but Im not sleepy... anyways.... I didnt have to work tonight, I got one of the new girls to pick up for me. I made pretty good monry at lunch only, so I was like yeah... go home now. I really need to start working a lot, but its like I either dont want to drive there or I dont want to stay once I am there. I think I am going to look for a serving job somewhere in Arlington, or anything closer, I enjoy RFC most of the time, but there is a lot of bullshit that pisses me off way too much. They are totally unfair with sections, the people who work there are 2 faced, and some of the managers treat people like dirt. Now I know that my brother might not be the nicest person in the world, or he might now be the best host, but he deserves more respect than he gets, and sometimes I feel like I am not getting any respect either. What sucks tho, is that I am going to have to give a 2 weeks notice, If I do get a new job.... I dont know if I am going to be able to wait that long. Mer is really getting to me about money, I am doing the best I can... I love her and all... but sometimes she is really rude. She said "Sometimes you bite off more than you can chew" yeah maybe I do, but damn, I am trying. Just because I am not constantly freaked out about money, I just try to work things out.... doesnt mean I dont realize whats going on. Ok yeah....
Hmm where can I work....
Olive Garden on S CooperFridays in N ArlingtonTrail Dust in N ArlingtonPapadeux in N ArlingtonPapadeux in Fort WorthI could always go back to Spaghetti Warehouse in Dowton Dallas.... except I think that is just about as far as it is to Grapevine... well its closer, but no...I dont know, I hate filling out applications and crap....I might go pick up some apps, and see how this next week goes then decide if I am going to actually apply or not. Or... I could work at RFC during the day or night only and get a job somewhere else working days or nights... that has regular hourly pay.... dunno.... yeah
good night guys!

I fell down the stairs

2004-06-04T00:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I ended up getting an unexpected day off on Wed. I was supposed to open at 9:45, but that didnt quite happen because I sprained my ankle on Tuesday night going down the stairs at my apt. Yeah, I was laughing at myself and AJ was like are you okay, and then I realized that it kinda stareted to hurt. Well AJ went to turn in some applications and we were at Barnes and Noble and we ran into Angela and Brian and they invited us to a movie. So we went to see Day After Tomorrow... well we were about a quarter of the way into the movie and the power went off and they had evacuated all the movie theatres. Becuase there was a tornado really close to the mall, yeah no beuno. But we missed most of it except for some nasty rain. Well we had to run in the rain to get to the car.... not a good idea, because of my ankle.
Oh well... right now I am watching fraiser and playing on AJs laptop, hes asleep, he didnt sleep very much the past few nights, and Ive been taking naps after work and stuff... so yeah. I think I am going to go play around on some websites, maybe make myslef sleepy...?

Sorry, so sorry!

2004-06-01T17:34:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, sorry I havent had a real update in awhile... ive been wokring a lot and just having fun with the little bit of extra time I have had. I havent had a day off since last tuesday and I wont have another one until next tuesday. I am pooped. I have a nasty blisted on the top of my foot and it hurts really bad when I wallk... so yeah... no beuno. I have had good and bad days at work in the last week. Thursday I worked a double and i made 130, and Saturday I ran food made 175... yay....
I didnt make it Arwyns wedding on Saturday because of work.... I was sad, but Im sure it was beautiful.
I am going to go with AJ to get some applications for a second job. He makes enough at the Math Clinic but he just wants some extra money. This is a really boring update so I am just going to stop it here.

Have I mentioned lately that I love AJ?

2004-05-25T00:21:00.000-05:00

Been awhile since my last update... Im still alive.
I love AJ
ok so now.... Mer just got back in town tonight, I missed her, Im glad she is back. Not a whole lot has happened since my last update... AJ took me to the Dr Pepper Museum on Thursday for my bday, that was fun. Then we went to dinner at Fridays with Angela and William. Oh yeah, AJ had to talk to Sam because he had mail over there so he had to go get it and she had convinced him to talk to her, but I couldnt come with him, but he took my car and dropped my off at Barnes and Noble because I didnt want his car to end up stalling when he was over there. Well he dropped me at BN and went to get his stuff. He came back awhile later and he seemed really upset. She tried to kiss him, how freaking immature can you get. That really pissed me off. I wasnt mad at him for any reason but her.... yeah. In all actuallality it doesnt matter because he didnt kiss her, her lips didnt even touch his, plus he loves me, and kisses me a million times a day... so yeah. I have tomorrow off work and then I dont have another day off until Tuesday.... who-hoo!
I love AJ

Im 20!

2004-05-18T01:29:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
YAY

Yup, another one

2004-05-14T15:43:00.000-05:00

From Colleen's Xanga

Name: Anne Margaret Lamberti
Nickname: Annie, Fannie, Annie Bannanie, Permagrin
Age: 19, 20 on Tuesday!
Height: 5'6''
EyeColor: some kinda greenish brown
HairColor: Dark Brown right now
SkinColor: Lightly Tanned??
Nationality: Mostly Italian, some Norewegian, Im a mutt
Town u live in: A-Town, or Alrington
Do you work: Rainforest Cafe, and Clarinet lessons in Azle
Are you Single/Taken/Married?: Very Taken, by AJ
School: UT Arlington, but I am done for the semester! Gott Sie Dank!
State/Country: Arlington, Texas
Grade: Im done with my Sophomore year! Yay!
Fav. Subjects: Music, most days
Fav. Sports: Marching Band is a sport.... however, Im not particuallry fond of standing in an oven for 2 hours a day
Least Fav. Sports: Im not fond of Soccer, but Ill watch it
Hobbies: Clarinet, web design... when I have time, AIM, ummm I just do stuff... .video games, when its possible
Fav. Movies: Empire Records, Lady and the Tramp
Anime: Ive watched some, but I dont remeber what it was
Any Sisters: No biological sisters, but all my SAI girls are my sisters!
Any Brothers: 2Name(s) and Age(s): Jeff- 21, David 34
Any Pets: AJs mom's dog- woot and AJ & Is Guinea Pig, that we had to give away, but hes still my baby- Buster
Pieces of clothing: Favs? Flip flops and my black skirt with the roses on the side
Numbers: 13
Drinks: DP, H2O, Chocolate Milk, Lemonade, Shiner, Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry, mmm Vodka
Kind of dog: St Bernards!Rappers: Nein
Commercials: The cottonellse commercials with the puppy!
Fav Actor: Russel Crowe and Ewan McGregor
Fav Actress: Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson
Restaurant(s): Fridays because I go there so much, but I love Macaroni Grill
Candy: Dots, Sweedish Fish, M&Ms
Ice Cream: Amaretto with choclate sprinkles from Marble Slab, Starbucks Java Chip....mmmm
Day of the Week: Friday
Holidays: I love Easter
Cars: Jetta or a Passat
Dyed your hair? Yup
Flunked A Grade: nope
Been In Love: Yeah, I feel in love when I was 16, and I am still there
Gotten Drunk?: yup
Smoked? Oh god no!
Whos your current crush?: AJ.... hehe
Who makes you smile the most?: Same as above
What do you like in a guy? Someone I can laugh with, Beautiful eyes, Intellegence, a good kisser is a must, someone I am incredibly comfortable with
What is your dream date? Anything where I am happy
1. Go into your Xanga's archives.
2. Find your 23rd post...or the closest one
3. Find the 5th sentence and post it with these directions.
" No she tells Rayanna and I hear it from Rayanna." lol, i remeber that day

I love AJ

AJ + Annie = HAPPY

2004-05-12T21:52:00.000-05:00

I told AJ that I loved him last night.... and his response I do love you. Wow.... I was talking to Mer today and I couldnt stop smiling. I feel right again. I told AJ that he could stay with me, but he wanted me to ask Mer and make sure that it was okay with her. We went to Saltgrass for lunch today and I mentioned it to her and she said it was perfectly fine. I mean hes going to help pay rent and all which will help Mer and I. Plus I really dont want him to leave.
I cant believe that I am finally done with this semester, it really didnt hit me until today.... I know that I didnt do that well but all that matters to me right now is the fact that I am finished! Yay!
Tomorrow AJ and I are going to Booker T so he can see all of his old teachers and maybe some people who are still around. So that will be fun.

Life is Wunderbar, and fucking wierd!

2004-05-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

Oh wow how life changes. I called Donna on Saturday night when I got off work to talk to her. Well I was telling her all of my problems and she had told me that AJ and Sam had split up. I was floored, and I knew that he would probably need a place to stay this week because of finals and stuff and/or until he can gets his own apartment. I told his mom to let him know that he could stay with me and stuff.... and I had mentioned why dont they come to RFC for lunch on Sunday.... and well they did It was kind of awkawrd at first, but it got much better! I got them 50% off of course because they are pretty much family anyways... I spent a lot of time talking to them, I didnt want them to leave either. Aj had told me that they split up and I asked if he was okay and he said yes. Then I said that he could come stay with me, and he said okay. So yeah, right now I am sitting in my living room on his computer while he is sitting accross from me doing his take home final! Wow... if someone would have told me a week ago that this would happen, I would not have believed them. I am so happy right now... It all just fits.... I cant explain it. And I know that everyone is going to be like what the fuck is wrong with you two. But as Dr Hunt and Mer said... you arent doing this for everyone else, do what makes you happy... and we are! I missed him so much... I missed how he made me smile and laugh all the time. I could go on about this for hours... but I wont.
I am done with all my finals. I took Music Lit today and it was actually quite easy.... I had listened to the pieces for about an hour before the exam and AJ was giving me ideas on how to remember all the things... As I said, it went well. Yesterday I had theory, percussion and my barrier. Theory wasnt that bad, I was just really tired so I couldnt remeber a lot of easy shit. Percussion was probably the best test I have taken this semester. And my barrier... oh lord. I was fine when I was rehearsing with Toni, my accompainist. But when I started playing, high notes werent coming out of my instrument, plus my bottom jaw was shaking because I was getting really upset with my clarinet. I was about to cry. So my pieces were good.... on the parts that came out but a lot of the 1st movement is high fast stuff. And well it wouldnt come out..... Dr Jessup said she knew that something was wrong but she couldnt stop me. My scales were fine, I had to replay one... I got G, F#, E, C#.... I was hoping for all sharps and I got it. I hate Flat minors! And I didnt get any! Yay. Then the verbal was easy.... Dr Jessup talked to me afterward and just said that I had to play 2 pieces for my jury in the fall and everything will be okay. So yeah...
Ok back to AJ for awhile.... I missed him so much. I missed talking to him more than anything. He told me that whenever we went to Fridays. And when he was at RFC he was like theres so much that I want to talk to you about. So yeah when we were at Fridays I had asked him if he was really okay and he said yes...and he said something and I was like thats okay... and I put my hand on his and he wouldnt let go. I have smiled so much since Sunday night. I know that he needs his own place, and I dont think he feels like he is being a burden, although he had mentioned something about it and I told him he wasnt.... Honestly, I really dont want him to leave, I love him being here.... it all feels right. I want to get things right this time, I dont want to get this fucked up again. I missed him way too much. I know we are supposed to be together, we wouldnt keep coming back to eachother if it wasnt meant to happen.... I cant stop saying how much I have missed him. I am sitting her watching him do his exam and all I can think about is how different my life was even 3 days ago and how much happier I am with him sitting here studying at my apartment....

damn it!

2004-05-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh no meeting today.... wtf is wrong with us.

HILFE!

2004-05-06T14:31:00.000-05:00

i am personally done with school this semester, I really dont give a crap this semester. Blah. So yeah, I just emailed my aunt asking if I could borrow $3,000 because of yeah, mostly my stupidity with money. I hope she can help me, because I really need that money by the 12th or we get kicked out of our apartment. So we went to Michael's last night for a cinco de mayo party and stuff happened, and I think mer is mad at me because I said she should feel bad about what she did. Because she was in the kitchen making lunch and she said something to the extent of.... I feel bad should I? And I just said yes, yes I would. And then after that, a few minutes later she got her stuff and I was like are you okay, and she was like yeah, I am going home for a little while. I hope I didnt offend her, but sje already felt bad.... was I supposed to say no and just be nice, even tho I would be lying? Blah! Im missing the last day of music lit right now, and I really dont care.... i had to email my aunt so yeah. Blah! I am so sick of school, I am ready to be done and have a break! Seriously! I miss cathleen... shes not coming home for the whole summer, and I miss her. Wow how fucked things are right now.....

damn!

2004-05-02T22:41:00.000-05:00

I WANT THIS SEMESTER TO BE OOOVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Short History of Annie

2004-04-30T00:19:00.000-05:00

Got this from Angie's site, thought it was cool
15 years ago I:* Moved to the house on Kirby
* Was in Ms. Pool's kindergarten class
* Watched Snow White at least once a week
* Was a glow worm for Halloween
10 years ago I:* Was in Ms. Allen's 5th grade class at Heights
* Was getting used to having a step-sister
* Choose clarinet on band day
* Did an Endangered Specied project on Panda Bears
5 years ago I:* Was a Sophomore at Richardson High School
* Played in the pit for The King And I
* Was in Symphonic Winds as a Sophomore
* Didnt make All-Region... was super upset
* Got my first kiss
* Wanted to go to the University of Denver3 years ago I:
* Was happy and with AJ, thought it would be forever
* Thought I knew everything about what I wanted to do with my life
* Didnt think I knew what I wanted to do with my life :)
* Was on the newspaper staff
* Went to prom and had my dress made for me by AJ's mom and grandmother
* Moved out of my dads house when I turned 181 year ago I:* Was initiatied into SAI
* Actually atteneded class and got decent grades
* Lived in the crappy dorms
* played Morrowind constantly
* Broke up with AJ again
3 months ago I:* Moved into my new apartment with Mer
* Started a new semester, which I have now wasted
* Thought that I was actually going to do something with myself this semester
Yesterday I:* Went to SAI Meeting
* Didnt go to any classes
* Played in Recital Lab
* Rehearsed with Toni for Recital Lab
* Took a shower
* Talked to Mer after DM auditionsToday I:* was at jen's
* was falling asleep on jen's bed
* stopped by michele's apartment for a little while
* Did this thing
* Washed my face

LUCK!

2004-04-29T12:58:00.000-05:00

Good Luck at Drum Major auditions MER! I LOVE YOU!

MASH... lol

2004-04-28T12:10:00.000-05:00

You will live in House.
You will drive a black Porsche.
You will marry Russell Crowe and have 3 kids.
You will be a teacher in Arlington

http://playmash.com

hehe... good day

2004-04-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

Oh poopie man! I am so sleepy, I took a nap today and everything.
I just got home from going out with Austin and his friend Keith (?) that was super fun. We went to Saltgrass and Austn and I split a dessert. Brian wasnt working, which is good, because we didnt go there for him anyways :) and I didnt want to seem stalker-ish, because I wasnt meaning to. But yes, I still like him.
Mer and I went to the Jazz Orchestra thing at a country club last night, and Brian was there... hehe Mer took the seat next to Daniel so I could sit next to him. I felt like I was in high school. I dont really even know why I like this guy, but I do. And then the JO finished, and Mer and I went to tell Russ we were about to leave, but I got them to talk, because well, they needed to. And I went back and talked to Brian and Russ' best fried... forgot her name. We talked for a bit about stupid stuff, and yeah they came back, music, they ate some food... Mer and I wernt hungry. And everyone was involved in their own conversations and Brian just points to this spider and hes like u see that, how cool... it was so totally random but it was so cute. Damn.... . Mer said she mentioned to Russ that I like him, but I dont know if hes told him or not. Maybe if he has... thats good, but it could be bad as well.... dont know.
I was talking to Tunde and Jen earlier and I was telling Tunde how Jen and I were talking about flirting and the fact that we both suck at it. Tunde said I dont, I do it a lot. I was like are you kidding me? He was like no, you do it a lot and youre good at it too! I was amazed, I had no idea. He was like, now when you are consciously doing something, yeah you might think you suck, but when you dont think about it, you do it all the time. I was like wow, no idea bout that. Well enough for today, maybe things will get better

Yup, Bored again

2004-04-23T13:08:00.000-05:00

Im bored... waiting for Mer to get home from her lesson
A - Age: 19... 20 on May 18!!
B - Band listening to right now: none, watching TLC
C - Career future: Hopefully something that I love
D - Dad's name: Mark Edward Lamberti
E - Easiest person to talk to: Mer is by far the easiest, but of course Jen and Cat are pretty up there
F - Favorite song: I have always loved Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: bears
H - Hometown: Richardson, Texas
I - Instruments: clarinet
J - Job: Rainforest Cafe and Clarinet teacher
K - Kids: i want some...just not right now
L - Longest car ride ever: We used to take car rides all the time when I was younger to a bunch of places... but that I can really remeber... a bus to South Padre
M - Mom's name: Gail Martin Harris-Lamberti
N - Number of people you've slept with: 2
O - Oldest friend: Catherine, I met her in soccer when we were in Kindergarten
P - Phobias: Car Accidents
Q - Quote: "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when he grows up." ~Picasso
R - Reason to smile: People who care about me, puppies, kitties, making money
S - Song you sang last: 3am ~Matchbox 20
T - Time you wake up: Hopefully at least 20 mins before class
U - Unknown fact about me: I stole a thing of rolos from the grocery store when I was 4, I want to live in Europe
V - Vegetable you hate: Cauliflower (sp?)
W - Worst habit: bite my nails, pick at the skin around my nails, pop my joints
X - X-rays you've had: besides teeth at the dentist? none
Y - Yummy food: ice cream
Z - Zodiac sign: Taurus

NO MORE BAND!

2004-04-23T12:26:00.000-05:00

Ahh, no more band the rest of the semester, I love having the afternoon off. But I do have to work at 5... yuckies! We had the U-Band and Brass ensemble concert last night.... it was "so much fun" please note sarcasm. It wasnt bad, but I enjoyed the concert on Sunday much more. So yeah, after the concert Mer and I went to Russ' and his roomate Brian was there... yeah... I like Brian... wouldnt that be funny? We played video games, Mer and I played against eachother and one of the guys said that was hot. Mer and I just laughed. It was a lot of fun. Then I played the other Brian and Russ and kicked both their asses... keep in mind I have never played this game before but eventually Russ figured out my special punch and started kicking my ass... it was still fun! Hehe! I love beating guys at video games, it makes them soo mad... hehe. Anyways..... I need to go do some laundry... School still sucks, I will update wityh more of that later.... 2 more weeks and then finals... thank god!

Kick Ass Concert at the Myerson

2004-04-18T18:21:00.000-05:00

The band concert last night was great. The clarinets kicked ass in Dance of the Jesters, it was really fast, and my fingers just did it, I dont know how, Yay clarinets. Colours was great.... wonderful Solos Tate.... Good job in 4th mvt Michael ! In Memoriam... yeah, I was fighting tears, and Clements' hand was shaking for the cut off, I was like hold it togehter! Wind Ensemble played extremely well, and to AJ, beautiful job, if this is your last concert.... you finished well and I am glad you went out the way you did. Just please dont sell your horn, youre an amazing player and its just going to waste...you are going to want to pick it up sometime. Oh man, Traveller, by Masanka, beautiful! And of course, because it was Lichtenwalter's last concert they had to play Grainger.... and none other than Irish Tune.... oh man... the tears were pouring. That song just makes me flood tears. We played it my Sophomore year of High School and it has such a strong meaning to me and yeah. I don't know if Grant noticed... Mer said she saw me rubbing my eyes. I couldnt even really keep them open. Yeah and I talked to AJs mom and grandparents afterward, it was nice So yeah and I really didnt really want to get up and go to Theory today, but I came home and slept till 4 because we didnt have Band and I kinda missed percussion, but thats okay.... Anyways, enough for now

In 2, 3, 4...Out, 2, 3, 4

2004-04-16T01:38:00.000-05:00

So its 1:34, Ive had all semester to work on this German project, and I am currently less than half way done with this... oh yeah and thats right it was due a week ago. All I want to do is go back to my apartment and take a nap. I am going to try and take a break, play around on the computer a little bit, see how things go. AHHH! Mer witnessed my nervous breakdown earlier, about 2 hours ago. Yeah it was bad. I have messed up my college career pretty f**kin bad this semester. I dropped Ear Training IV today, Chave told me to. Whats wrong with me? Why cant I do this? Ive lost my energy to make myself work. I dont know whats wrong with me. I keep telling myself and Mer that the fall is new time, we can start over, completely. Oh man....
I didnt get president for SAI, which is okay, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I cant handle that on top of everything else. I am going to be recording secretary again next year, which is fantastic, I love the office. So yeah.....
Try to breathe....

Surveyness

2004-04-15T00:26:00.000-05:00

Im bored... bear with me...
FIRSTSFirst job: Tom ThumbFirst screen name: Want to get real technical... prodigy... dcfw23dFirst self purchased CD: Romeo and Juliet soundtrack... prollyFirst piercing/tattoo: My ears, when I was like 6, but I let them grow back in, and I got them re-done when I was like 10First true love: AJFirst enemy: Amy Higginbotham.... she annoyed the crap out of me in elementary school... how dumb does that soundLASTSLast big car ride: San Antonio in FebLast kiss: about 4 weeks ago... Bill...ick
Last library book checked out: Some book last semester about clarinetLast movie seen: dvd... Dumline... movie Theatre.... EuroTripLast beverage drank: H20
Last food consumed: Ice CreamLast phone call: MicheleCD played: Clarinet.... Poulenc Sonata Last annoyance: These people next to me in the library
Last pop drank: Dr Pepper
Last ice cream eaten: Amaretto with M&Ms at Marble Slab
Last time scolded: My lesson... "This needs to be better"Last shirt worn: the one Im wearingI....I AM: kind of boredI WANT: to be done with this semesterI HAVE: a stupid singing test tomorrow
I WISH: I had unlimited amounts of moneyI HATE: stupid peopleI FEAR: being aloneI HEAR: people talkingI SEARCH: for all the answersI WONDER: If I am going to pass all my classes this semesterI REGRET: not always telling people how I have feltI LOVE: Making people smileI ALWAYS: wake up late for classI AM NOT: aloneI DANCE: by myselfI SING: all the time in my carI CRY: when my heart hurts
YES or NO:YOU KEEP A DIARY: Xanga?
YOU LIKE TO COOK: Always
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: not yetDO YOU...?HAVE A CRUSH: Kinda
WANT TO GET MARRIED: of courseGET MOTION SICKNESS: sometimes
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: neverCURRENT HAIR COLOR: dark brown with a red tintEYE COLOR: brown/green hazleBIRTHPLACE: Plano, TXFAVORITESNUMBER: 13
COLOR: green and blueDAY: FridayMONTH: Autumn monthsSONG(S): IrisSEASON: Autumn
DRINK: DP, water, LemonadePREFERENCESCUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: both...i refuse to choose!CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: milkDARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: darkVANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: chocolate
IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...CRIED? nopeHELPED SOMEONE? Cant say I have
BOUGHT SOMETHING? foodGOTTEN SICK? nopeGONE TO THE MOVIES? noSAID 'i love you'?: nopeWRITTEN A REAL LETTER: nope
TALKED TO AN EX?: nope... againMISSED AN EX?: not todayWRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: xangaHAD A SERIOUS TALK?: With Mer about life
MISSED SOMEONE? not really
HUGGED SOMEONE? yup Mer

Thats all

Dude, My hair was ORANGE!

2004-04-14T17:50:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well...
I dyed my hair on Monday night, the first time it was orange, but now its a dark brown... I like it a BUNCH! I'll try to get a picture posted ASAP. Anyways, we have Voting for SAI tomorrow... Im nominated for President and Recording Sec. I love my Sec job, and I dont really know if my heart will be 100% into it next semester to be president or not....IM kind of deciding. I mean, if I do get it, thats fantastic, but I dont know if I really want the responsiblity when I am going to have to be getting my life back in order.... blah. So much stuff has happened with school this semester its not even funny.... I need to spend a lot of time working on myself over the summer, making things make sense again. Well I need to get some stuff done. I have to go to the Library later, so Im sure there will be another update!

Love to All!

Easter Rabbits!

2004-04-11T17:20:00.000-05:00

Well Hoppy Easter to everyone. I have worked the past 2 days, and everyhting has sucked. Saturday morning we had a kids easter buffett, I had to be at work at 7am! It was ridicoulus. I had 3 tables, thank god everything was an atomatic gratuity, because yeah, that was I made 20 bucks. And today, the whole mall was closed but RFC was open. I had 4 tables all day and waled with 15 dollars. It was retarded, I just wanted to go home all day.
I made Melissa, my SAI Little, a red canvas bag with iton on letters last night, its really cute, and of course, I made one for myself as well :)
Jen and I went to Fridays last night, we had a really awesome waiter, he gave us great service. We spent $20 and left him $5, he was like THANK YOU, REALLY. He told us that all night sucked and this made it better. I was like well you gave us good service, so you deserve it. And I understand how when you need money, and you just keep getting crap, how annoying and frustrating that is. Anyways, yeah.... enough for now

Opps!

2004-04-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

Went to the Ranger's Opening Day game today. Dumb me didnt even think about putting on Sunscreen... oh well...
I didnt go to bed until 6:30 last night. Sally and I were up doing 30 year Banquet stuff for SAI. We had stuffed about 175 envelopes with the invitations and RSVP cards last night. Yeah, and we still need to do the Arlington Alumnae chapter... so yeah. This needed to be all done and sent out by tomorrow... btu thats not happening. I cant stay up like that again! Plus I have to work at 7:30 am tomorrow. Poo on that! Well yeah... anyways....

I hate being the band bitch!

2004-04-07T23:47:00.000-05:00

Ahhh Gott Sie Dank! I finally finished copying all the music for the Ranger Game rehearsal on Sunday. That took forever this morning. Mr Clements has a fear that everyone and their dog is going to lose the music between now and Sunday so Jennifer and I had to make a million extra copies *rolls eyes*. I really want to go to work tonight, I am in a good mood so hopefully Ill be making good money! My brother got a job at RFC as a Tour Guide (or host as they are known outside of the Rainforest). Hes excited, it pays better than his old job, he hopes soon he'll move up to a Server, hes never waited tables before. Ugh, I dont want to practice, I have to play for Clements after band. All the clarinets have to play their parts on Dance of the Jesters for him today. I will go practice in a little while, that will give me an hour before band starts.
This morning I woke up to someone banging on our upstairs neighboor's door this morning. Mer and I both woke up to it, we thought it was someone banging on our door it was soo loud. That was at 9:20, so I layed down for a few minutes and fell asleep. I got up at 9:50ish and threw on some clothes and went to theory today. We are doing 12 tone stuff.... ugh. Its easy but yuck. I didnt have German today, which was nice. I would have made to class for a week straight, but Ms Williams said we can pretend. lol Anyways, I am going to play with photoshop and make some graphics for the SAI page.

Don't

2004-04-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

I got this in a email yesterday from Donna. I should be in Social Psychology right now, but I didn't want to go today. I got advised this morning... yay more school!

Don't...byDaksha Thakrar* * *
Don't attempt to run from the past, it is always behind you.
Don't be afraid of opposition; remember a kite rises against, not with the wind.
Don't be afraid of tomorrow, for God has already been there.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't be angry at a friend who told your secret, for neither could you keep it to yourself.
Don't be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others. (Confucius)
Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
Don't be so Heavenly minded that you do no earthly good.
Don't control, be in control. (Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu, the Legend Continues)
Don't count the days, make the days count. (Mohammed Ali)
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Don't ever slam a door- you may want to go back.
Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things.The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. (Louis E. Boone)
Don't get good at doing something if you don't like doing it.
Don't get married only because of the money. You can borrow it cheaper. (Z. Z. Gabor)
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Don't just get something out of church, put something into it.
Don't kill the dream - execute it!
Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.
Don't let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet. (Gandhi)
Don't let people drive you crazy when it is within walking distance.
Don't let time take control of your destiny. Let your destiny take control of your time. (Ulrick Ricardo Milord)Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. (John Wooden
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.Don't limit your challenges - challenge your limits.
Don't listen to what I say; listen to what I mean.
Don't love the things you own, lest they own you.
Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure itby how many times you get your breath taken away.
Don't pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger people.

Ugh

2004-04-05T23:57:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, another week of school has begun. Isn't life wonderful, getting up late, skipping class, laying in bed, taking tests you aren't ready for. I am being sarcastic if you didnt know ... Anyways....
I just finished typing the inivitations for our SAI chapter 30 yr banquet thats..(eeek!!!) less than a month away! Sally and I need to get some shit done by the end of this week, but she has her composition recital, I hope crap gets done. I know what were going to be doing on Thursday after our meeting. We have formal meeting this week, bleh. Which means I have to dress nice on Thursday and get all the old minutes typed up. Nominations for offices are being presented on Thursday, I know I'll get something, but I don't know what. I really want to be president, because I know I can dedicate a lot to it, but I dont know if Laura, Julie, and Sarah know (they are the nominating commitee). So yeah....I dont know, becaue I dont think Laura wants to deal with being President, but I dont know if she thinks I would do a good job or not. Julie doesnt want the position, she doesnt want any positions... Cindy reccomended that the President be a Junior, Jennifer, Briana, and I are the only Juniors.... Briana... no, Jennifer hasnt had an office and doesnt really want a high up one... so that leaves me... maybe they will see it. I might tell Jen to reccomend me if we dont want the people who are nominated. I dont know. Blah!
Eeekk.... I havent been to Music Lit since our last test and hes giving us the information for our next test tomorrow! Blah on that! And Social Psychology... yeah... I really need to get to that class from now on and at least attempt to pull a B. I know and A is out of the question... but I can try!
Anyways, thats about it for now. We had a rehearsal for the Ranger Game on Sunday that we are playing at on Friday. Yeah.... I am soo excited *dull toned voice* Well we get to go to the Opening Day Game free tho, so hopefully that will be exciting. I want this week to be over, I am so tired already... I slept from 5:30-8 tonight. I fell asleep around 2 or so last night because I was up talking to Grant, and then his cell phone died. Anwyays....

Im down here, covered in crap

2004-03-31T20:48:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I am like down in the shits right now, I dont know why, but nothing makes me happy. I watched Friends todaya and it was the one where Rachel knows she loves Ross, but hes with Julie and she wants to tell him but cant. Well she said something like, "I've hot rock bottom, but then theres 10 feet of crap, and then theres me" I am having one of these times right now. Mer is really worried about me, I know it will get better, I just and stuck in this rut and its freakin boring. I know that there are a million things that I should be happy about, but nothing is working. I try not to worry about it, and then someone asks me how I am and I say fine, and I get this look. I dont know, its retarded. I dont know what will make me happy, I guess thats the real problem. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I feel like I am doing the wrong thing in college, but I have no idea what else I should be doing. I told Mer last night and I was like, Im just really not happy. She said that I need to find out why I fell in love with music and once I find that again, life will make sense again. I sure hope so. BLAH!
Maybe Ill feel better tomorrow.

Lol @ Me!

2004-03-30T12:31:00.000-06:00

LOL at me, I was reading thru my old entries, check this out... I made goals for this semester...
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wow, is my life exciting or what? Its 12:30 and I am at home.. yay me. Well in all honesty, I am exhausted and I don't feel to wonderful so I decided to just stay home. Plus I have to get up at 8 for work in the morning, so I feel like I have good reasons. I open tomorrow, so hopefully I will be off by about 3(ish) and I want to take Austin to dinner with his new boyfriend. I am so happy for him! He deserves someone wonderful :) *kisses to Austin* And Elizabeth works lunch tomorrow too so maybe she'll be able to come with us... yay! Tonight was hellish at work tonight. They gave the kids noise makers and did a balloon drop, so yeah, needless to say I had a horrible headache from all the balloons popping, screaming, and noise makers....never again. I can't wait until summer, everyone whos been there awhile says that summer is crazy mad money, so I am excited. If I stay it will be for that. I start teaching again next week... blah. I miss my kids, but I dont want to drive to Azle! Pooh! So yeah, I don't make "resolutions" because that is just asking to break them, instead I am going to make goals for myself... lets see...
1. No skipping class, unless I have a good reason. Sleep is not a good reason.
2. Homework done ON TIME
3. Start stuff early, no last minute crap
4. Stay organized
5. Clean room once a week
6. Get rid of all debt, make a list and figure out what goes where and when
7. Save money, aka actually use my savings account
8. Don't let checking account get f*cked up, keep book balanced
9. Block out time in my schedule to practice every day and always practice during that time
10. Work as much as possible, without hindering school
11. Don't whine so much
12. When school starts, block out time to work out everday *I say when school starts because I will be living on campus, and it will be easier to get there because right now I work as well*

Lets go one by one and see which one I went thru with...
1. Nope, sleep is a damn good reason!2. Homework? Whats that?3. Start stuff early, I was up till 5am the night before our theory comp was due!4. Organized.... hmmm maybe a little, no wait, I never even got around to fixing binders for this semester!5. I havent cleaned my room for alomst 2 weeks now, before that, god knows when6. Debt? Dont even start me!7. I currently have $3 in my savings account8. I think they closed my checking account9. I could probably count the number of hours I have practiced this semester on one hand10. Work? Thats for the weekends baby!11. Actually, i think this is the only one that I have kept.12. I think I went to work out... once.

Wow thats sad, I really need to get my shit together, I guess we will try again next semester

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!

2004-03-27T17:47:00.000-06:00

Parties and drinking are fun.... however, DRAMA is not. Oh my god, pretty much sums up all of last night. The basic theme of the story is that although I love Jen and all, she really needs to learn her limits when it comes to drinking. I mean, yeah I had a few drinks, but I waited a bit and I was perfectly fine to drive home from Nash's. But she couldnt even get out of Tunde's car when we got back to the apartments. I told Mer while we were at the gas station, I was like shes all happy arond Grant right now, but as soon as she gets drunk she will be all over Tunde, and that is exactly what happened. I am going to ask Mer to talk to me with her, because I dont want to seem too forward, but this is only because I care about her. But I dont know if she will realize that its because we care, or we are trying to jump down her thoart. I felt soo bad for Grant, he goes to Baylor and her came all the way up here to see her, and he spent most of the night trying to hold her up, which is just freakin annoying. This is my rule, if you cant walk straight, to get yourself another drink, you dont need to have one, its that simple. So when we got to Jens apartment, she told Tunde that she was comfortable with Grant spending the night. I was like oh god, when Tunde told me, so I talked to Jen and then I ended up telling Grant, I told him pretty much everything, I dont keep secrets unless I am asked to. So Grant spent the night at my apartment, on the floor, I felt really bad for him. Hes a really nice guy too and this is why nice guys turn into assholes, because girls treat them badly. I told Michael that he could spend the night as well, because he, Tunde, and Mer had a KKY workshop at SFA. Michael took a shower it my apt, and he told me that I was too good of a person, I was like, thanks. I care about my friends, and I know they would do the same thing for me.
Work today sucked, it was super slow, James actually made AM cuts on a Saturday. I have to close tomorrow night, i dont want to, I have my theory comp project and I need to study for German, but thats right... not gonna happen! Oh gotta love college life.

Sometimes, sleep is better than school

2004-03-25T14:14:00.000-06:00

Well its 2:11, on Thursday, which means that I should be in Music Lit... thats right... Im not. I didnt go to any classes today, I have felt soo terrible. Mer asked if I was going to Ear Training this morning, I just looked at her and said no. She actually didnt fight me this time. Which was good. And then no Psychology and I called the band office and said I wasnt going to be there today. I am just going to go for our SAI meeting at 4(ish) and then Ill be done for the day. I really want to cook something, but I dont have anything besides Mac and Cheese. I could make a cheesecake, but theres no one else to eat it. Blah! Anyways, Im going to lay down some more

maybe its MY fault??

2004-03-23T10:23:00.000-06:00

I got a really bad grade on my ear training test.... I think I am going to have to drop, I mean this grade will make it impossible to barely get a D. Which, well kinda doesnt work out too well for me. I admit, I have NEVER done MacGamut, nor have I practiced the sight singing... and I know that this isnt an excuse, but we never have had to do any of it before... so yeah. And I know this isnt an excuse either, but the class before us didnt have Dr Chave for Ear Training IV, they had an super easy teacher, who didnt care about anything! I heard from previous students that she would watch people cheat on tests, not only that but let them talk thru them. Now, if these students had to take Chave, would they pass....probably not. Blah! Stupid shit....I have psyc at 11, I think we have a test today, but hopefully, he wont be mean and give us a test the first class after Spring Break.... Oh well...

No More Spring Break Makes Me Sad :(

2004-03-21T22:19:00.000-06:00

I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!! BAAAHHHH!
Ok, I had to get that out. I feel like I didnt accomplish anything over Spring Break, but I had a long list of things that I had to do. I needed to practice, study, clean, basically get things in order where I have screwed up the previous 8 weeks. I need to work on Wednesday, but I hope I dont because I dont want that night to be wasted when I have so much to for SAI before our meeting on Thursday. I need to contact some florists for roses, or table settings, I need to spend time with some alums to get previous memeber's contact information... omg... I can put it on our page! Duh me! Well, of course I need to do more than that... but yeah.
Man I got really sick on Friday night. i felt horrible.... Tunde called me asking if I wanted to drink with him, but good little me said no. It would have made me feel worse. Then Saturday at work... BLAH! I wanted to go home so bad because my thoart felt swollen... how gross is that?!?? But good thing I didnt because I made 100 bucks between 10:30 and 4:30... sweet huh? I had 3 parties I could put a grat on, plus most people were being nice otherwise.... My first table was a group froma church in OK and it was one of the girls' birthday. I had never truly embrassed someone at RFC before Saturday, we did it all the time at Spaghetti Warehouse tho.... I wouldnt do this unless there was a larger group of people for a birthday... anyways... I made her dance like a chicken. I was kind of scared doing this because.... well the servers at RFC dont ever do anything like this. What you do... is have the birthday person stand on a chair, tie 2 balloons together and put them behind their ears, take a triangle solo cup and have them bite down on it.... and have them put a menu under each arm... then they flap their wings and such... while we sing the Birthday song. All of the servers got a kick out of it... I hope now the other servers will have more fun with birthdays.... All the time would get old... but anyways.... it was funny for a while....
I felt really bad when I got home from work. Bill called, said he wanted to see me, but I was wearing pjs, with my hair back in pigtails... I wasnt a sight to be seen. I told him he could come over if he wanted, but he declined. I got pizza and medicine, and I was good for the night. There was supposed to be a big storm, but all we had was a lighting show. Then I went to bed... and woke up serval times during the night. But in all I slept well. I finnaly got up about 1, and talked to Mer for awhile. We went get out eyebrows waxed. The lady was really nice, but she didnt do a very good job. She didnt get any of the hairs on my nose at all, which really pissed me off when i got home, because then I have to cause myself pain, after i just paid het 12 to cause me pain... blah! I also said I wanted to keep the shape that i had which had a nice arch, but nope, that changed too.... oh well. it does look better than it did, so I guess thats all that really matters, I just wont go on Sunday again....
Well tomorrow morning is time to get my ass in gear. I have really screwed over this semester, and I have 8 weeks left to fix it.... and I am going to. I know there is no way that I can get a 4.0 but I am going to shoot for Bs. because after what I have done so far this semester, As are going to be damn near impossible! But I am going to try my best... this also includes practicing! Jessup is going to kill me if I still havent practiced my jury stuff by Wednesday! Anyways... I need to get going! Love to everyone!